Psych

About a month ago Zack and I went with the family to a psychic. At first we were both totally sceptic and even a little bit resistant, since we are both Christian and psychic's are sort of looked at, well badly, by a lot of Christians. But this woman told my Mom 20 years ago that she was pregnant with a little boy before my mom even knew she was knocked up. She predicted that an important man in my Aunt Mary's life was going to pass away shortly before my Grandpa died. She predicted my cousin Angie would get pregnant with a little boy, he is yet to make an appearance but anatomy scans show she's right. She's predicted lots of things I can't remember right now. She's scary good.
So we went.
Or I went, and Zack was forced. Whatev.
On mulitple occasions that day Zack and I had discussed the number 23 and how we thought it was good luck, so when my Mom called to tell me she had already bought my turn with the psychic and that I was number 23, I instantly felt like that was a good sign.
Zack was number 25, so I went first... obviously.
I had no idea what to expect and I was concerned she would tell me something awful, or be mean to me, or tell me to take my hair out of the knotted pony tail it was in (which she did to my cousin Stacy just a few turns before mine). Any of those things would have sent me running from the facility crying and sucking my thumb.
I was pleasantly surprised when it was finally my turn, when I walked up to a crazy-fun-aunt looking type, who seemed genuinely excited to see me.
I told her how excited and nervous I was and she asked if she had ever seen me before. I told her no, I was there with my Mom and My Aunt and Husband, and Cousin, but that I had never been before. She gave me a generic pink pen to give to whomever brought me with them, which seemed odd. Then I wrote my name on a piece of paper and thus began my "reading".
The first thing she said to me was "Are you pregnant?". "No." I told her. "Well it's unlikely, I don't think so, no. no. I'm not. Unfortunately." She smiled at me and said "What's your daughter's name?".
"Uh, no daughter. No kids yet. Unfortunately."
"Really? hm."
At this point I was disheartned. We were 0 for ... what, like 3? I dont know. I was bummed. Then she said "Where is your husband going?"
"What? What do you mean?" I stuttered, shocked.
"Where's he going? I want to tell you he's going to be safe."
Aaaand tears. Here I am in a bar, talking to a psychic, trying not to cry.
"He is? Thank you for telling me that, he's being stationed in Bahrain in May. Without me."
"Well, he will be safe." She assured me and touched my hand.
"Are you all trying to get pregnant before he leaves?" She asked me. This is a common question and usually when people ask I can feel them judging our decision and I feel I have to justify it.
"We're not trying, not preventing. We would love to get pregnant but we've been trying for a while now and it hasn't happened, so..." I stammered.
"Well, in your 25th year, you will have a healthy baby."
I'm 24. My birthday is in October. Que more tears... I'm a blubbering idiot ok?
"Yeah? That would be amazing. I would love that."
All of these quotes are freaking me out. Without anyone suffering through anymore conversation, here's the rest of what she told me.
She said that I needed to be in the health field, but not a "traditional" health career. Hm. Since I'm training to be a Doula, I thought that was very interesting.
She told me that I needed to try to save some money because while Zack was gone or after my pregnancy (if I got pregnant before he left) I was going to lose a lot of weight and need a new wardrobe. Well, sounds good to me.
She told me my husband is crazy about me. And a few other things I felt I already knew, like that my husband and I would have 2 babies a boy and a girl and we would all live a happy life together.
Our time together (about 7 minutes) was ending and I stood up to leave. As I did she said "Wait, I just got this, you'll be pregnant before he leaves. Go home and have lots of sex. Take a prenatal every day until you get pregnant. You're going to be pregnant before he leaves." Aaaand more tears. She also said that I needed to stop putting my body down. No baby wants to enter a condemned body, she informed me. Then she wrote down some words for me to live by, and repeat to myself often, "I honor my body as a vehicle of God".
And I do. I honor my body as a vehicle of God.

Wouldn't that be just the best? To be pregnant before he left? Ugh. I'd love it.
So we stopped on the way home and bought prenatals and I've been taking them every day since. With my fingers crossed and my legs in the air. Too much? ha.

Here's a rundown of what she told Zack about 10 minutes after she talked to me.
We were sitting across the bar, so it's not impossible that she knew he was my husband.*
The first thing she said to him was that he was super "potent" and fertile right now.
Also that in about 5 months we would feel and be financially stable- that's about 3 months in to his duty in Bahrain.
She said that he was going to have a little boy, with his wife (me, ha), and be a little league coach. She also told him (what I already knew) That he's going to be a great Daddy =)
Also, apparently we are going to Europe at some point, and having LOTS of sex there.
She said in 14 months she saw real estate, maybe an acreage, come into our lives.
And finally she said he may get a phone call from a female family member concerning a womens health issue, but that it would all work out, and everyone would be ok.

All in all we both thought it was very cool and we're hoping for the best. I believe I will get pregnant before he leaves =) Because my body is a vehicle of God. And I honor it.

I have a whole lot of netflix and dishes to catch up on today so I better get on with that.

Have a spectacular day readers, I love your faces!

Oh yeah! - I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to my Mommy, who is the very best mom anyone could ask for. This picture illuminates where I get my drinking tolerance - or lack thereof.

And to my sweet beautiful niece Kenzie Rae. Happy 4th Birthday peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

All You Can Eat

I can not get enough of my husband lately. To the point that I may be driving him crazy. When he's awake everything's fine and when he's not at work everything is fine. I like him at a normal level. Like a normal person. But when he's sleeping or at work, I can't seem to tell him I love him enough. At least 20 times a day I have to go and bother kiss him while he's sleeping. I just know that my days are numbered with him before Bahrain. So if I think about kissing him or squeezing him even for a second. I do it. I just do. It doesn't matter what I'm doing.
I'm going to miss him so much.
What will I do without my all I can eat hugs??

Ugh. Anyways.

I've lost my keys. We rarely drive my car since it had 6 miles on it when I got it and I met Zack a month after that, and suddenly it has almost 20,000 miles on it less than 2 years later. Since I haven't been in my car since last Wednesday when Linny and I got sushi, your guess is as good as mine as to where they are. (Seriously, where do you think they are??) Since then, I have locked myself out of the house TWICE. Both times with Sam and Chelsea. Even after locking myself out twice, I didn't realize until yesterday that I have no earthly idea where they may be. This presents several problems.
The first being that there is no food in my house. Zack has a spare key to my car, so if I would just remember to get it from him before he leaves for work I could go buy groceries. But I don't remember. And I'm a terrible grocery shopper.

Not impossible.

So I'm cutting this post short, because ladies and gentleman, I am on a mission. I will find these keys. I'm going to go buy groceries and belly casting supplies. My cousin has graciously agreed to allow me to experiment with belly casting on her prego belly so that when I am a certified Doula, I can add belly casting to my services. I'm super excited to try it, and fairly confident that I will be amazing at it. I'll post pictures when it's done.

Okey Doke! Wish me luck!!

Something To Get Excited About

This week has been a whirlwind. Just when we got that stupid packet and I was as bummed as ever, all the stars lined up and God sent me some things I could get excited about.

Going through all the packet stuff was horribly depressing. Not just for me, but also for Zack. For the first time since we found out he was going to have to leave (I think) having to go to Bahrain was real for Zack, too. He was super bummed. The whole day basically sucked. We couldn't cheer each other up, and for the following 3 days we fought like crazy, including one major episode in front of Doug and Linny (Sorry about that guys), it was probably the worst fight we've ever had. Naturally, it happened when we had people staying at our house. Extremely embarrassing.

Things were not good.

Then we realized Zack would be home for our one year anniversary. His "no later than" date is after our May 7th Anniversary, so he won't have to leave until a few days after. Even though him leaving later than expected is a blessing and a curse, since he will then be back later, we were both instantly very excited about him being home for our anniversary. Things started to look up, which was amazing.

I've said on here before that hanging out with my friend Chelsea and her husband Sam and especially their beeb Brylie, instantly makes me feel better. They are the very best friends a girl can ask for and I love them so much. Last week was no exception, and actually, was a perfect example. Chelsea is always the first person to tell me Zack loves me and we're both just stressed, she's the first person I know will text me back no matter what time it is, and she is a like-mind when it comes to things i'm interested in.
Chels is a strong advocate for gentle birthing and attached parenting, which is my FAVORITE subject. After a few days of being down I spent the day with Chelsea and Brylie and a few of their friends, one of which is Chelsea's rockstar doula. Chels and I spent a few days talking about her and what an awesome career she had and how much I would love it and how it would suit me before I realized that's exactly what I should be doing.
The next morning I did some research and discussed it with the people closest to me, and just a few days later here I sit, enrolled in Doula training, waiting patiently for my July training conference and looking at a required reading list of about 30 books I can't wait to read.

I am excited!

For the first time EVER I know what I want to be when I grow up! I am made to work in the birth field, and not the hospital medical route either. I know that God has brought me this opportunity and waited so long for me to see what I wanted to do so that I could find out now, and have something to be so so excited about even though my husband is leaving for a year. Perfect timing!

Plus, this will help me get my pregnancy and birth fix in while I'm waiting my turn.


Woohoo!


I couldn't wait to share this news with you all :) I'll keep you all updated on the process!


Okay, so I know this isn't the Bahrain post, but I hate that post. I don't even want to finish writing it. Eventually I will, and I'm sure it will be an anticlimactic read for all of you. I just don't like to think about it. So, I'm postponing for now. I hope you all understand.

I'm off to color my hair back to a more natural, less red, color. I'll talk to you all again soon!

My Appreciation

Hello kiddies! How are all of  you? I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas. Mine was magical, I soaked up every moment with my family and my hubs.

Christmas Eve - It's disgusting how much I love him.

It was amazing and we were spoiled. I appreciated it this year more than ever before, for several reasons. Sure it was in the forefront of my mind that next year will be hard while Zack is in Bahrain, even if I do get to go there. I appreciated spending time with my family. 

But this year I also remembered to appreciate being in a warm house, with an obscene amount of food, and more than enough presents to go around. 

The day before Christmas Eve Zack and I went with several other members of my family to volunteer for the Christmas party at a Christian daycare for the children of the working poor. It was so humbling and I want to take a moment to briefly share a little of my experience.

I have to stop quick and give a shout out here to my Aunt Mary who made a lot of things happen for these kids this year and several previous years and also asked Zack and I to come this year. And another big shout out to my Uncle Rod, who is the nicest, coolest, sweetest man alive and has played Santa to the 100+ screaming kids for the past several years like a champ. As well as Stacy who braved a fear of the "just bombed for bugs" building and sweated her way through the day, and who raised Cody and Zach (who also came) who are just about the coolest kids I've ever met and who are always, always willing to help someone out. And of course, to my Zack, who I saw in a different light helping little kids, even if he did gag at the smell of a freshly soiled diaper on the baby floor. 

I have unbelievably generous and kind family members. Back to what I was saying...

I have never "went without" as they say. I was blessed with amazing parents who loved me and were blessed with jobs that allowed them to provide more than enough for my brother and I. They worked hard, and often, and they were still the best parents anyone could have asked for. (Don't tell them I said that). 

I wont go in to how many cars they've bought my brother and I, how many trips they've paid for, what bills they still pay... They're amazing. I've always known this and appreciated them.

Then I went to Precious Memories...

I knew before I got there that there were a lot of kids and that most of them only got the presents they would be getting at this party. When we walked in to the basement to meet Angy (who is a Saint, this place is ran by Saints) we were surrounded by over 100 full trash bags of donated gifts. I was overwhelmed. We helped sort them and asked her which bag went to which kid, and which kid went to which pile, indicating the floor they were on in the building, the fact that she not only remembered each kids name but their age and which floor they were on was beyond my comprehension. 

After all of the sorting was finished while my uncle got all Santa'd up, we went to talk to the kiddies. The afore mentioned Saints talked to the kids about what was going to happen and they sang songs and talked about the Christmas story and how there was no room at the inn. It was very sweet to see all of the kids so anxious.

Then came Santa, and the glee from the kids made me so happy, and so sad. One at a time they each got a chance to sit on Santa's lap and get a picture and their stocking filled with candy, then they got their (usually bigger than them) bag of presents. 

Needless to say they were very grateful.

It was a lot more emotional for me than I had intended. 

It's emotional for me now, because I'm a huge baby. 

One of the kids was having a conversation with one of the ladies that works there. He asked "Will there be popcorn of chips at the party?" She told him there would be popcorn AND chips, and pudding cups, and sandwiches, and juice, and all sorts of other food to eat for lunch afterwards. The little boy literally squealed. 

There were kids who's parents came and wouldn't let them open their gifts so that they had something to open Christmas morning. There were kids who screamed and got excited for underwear and socks. There were kids who drug their trashbags through the line to get lunch with them after opening because they didn't want the gifts out of their site. They were so proud of their stuff. They were so dang cute. There were babies there who were days old all the way to school age kids, and none forgotten. It rocked.

I can't wait to go back.

The moral of my story is, I appreciate that I will probably never have to wonder where my next meal will come from. I appreciate that I never did have to wonder. I have a whole new appreciation for new socks and underwear, and all of the other presents I would have hated as a kid. My family is blessed. And no matter what happens, or what job I start working and what my hours are, I will always make time to give back. Because I'm spoiled. And Blessed. 

Going there was definitely worth the cold I got almost immediately after leaving.

Sigh, so, who's coming with me? 

Waiting

I'm so jealous. Everyone is pregnant. Everyone has their babycenter baby tickers on facebook. I'm so freaking jealous your baby is a watermelon. I'm obscenely jealous your kumquat baby is giving you morning sickness. I can't wait to hear all about your birth's. But, I have to wait.
I have to wait because I can't imagine being more emotional while Zack is gone. I can assure everyone it is in their best interests that I am not a pregnant, sad, super bitch, counting down the days until I can be with my love again. Trust me. No one wants that.
I want to enjoy every single second of my pregnancy. Positive tests. Morning sickness. Giant sore boobs. Alien baby kicks. Drug free painful, amazing, birth. Every moment. If Zack is gone, every moment will be shadowed with me wishing he was there.

Alien Baby Kicks

If I loved him less this whole thing would be so much easier.
Ugh. Stupid amazing husband.
Also, the best way for me to tolerate not being able to bother Zack will be for me to stay crazy busy. So, I'm going to work out, and tan, and WORK. I know, pick your jaw up. I'm going to work, kids. It's been a while, but I'm going to find a job that I can work hundreds of hours. Or maybe 2 jobs. I want to work so much I can't think about anything else, or spend any money.
When he gets back, we will have been waiting for baby beautiful eyes for, like.... well, for my entire life. I was born to be a Mommy. I am good at a lot of things but I can tell you right now, my best work is yet to come. Since I will be working all the live long day, and Zack will be making tax-free Bahrain dollars, we will be so set when we finally are expecting. Which is totally responsible and, frankly, unlike me.
I know it's the right decision and I'm shocked to find that I am not upset about it. I guess there was a reason that we didn't get pregnant right away. So we could make this happen for our little Ninja Baby.
So, of course, now that Zack and I have decided 100% to "be responsible" and wait until he gets home from Bahrain to get pregnant, I am just absolutely certain he will accidentally knock me up.
Whatever. It's in God's hands.

Thoughts For Today

Well, I waited until as late as I could to blog about today hoping my thoughts would form some sort of blog topic instead of just thousands of random thoughts. Bad news though, no such luck. I am so consumed with anxiety about finding out where were going I can't... THINK. It's very frustrating.

This morning when my amazing husband got home from work he said the sweetest thing to me while I was only half awake, and it has kept me in a remarkably good mood today. Which is saying something since I had a headache earlier that I was sure was caused by my brain trying to escape via my nose. Anyway, I lived through that and have vowed to make him breakfast tomorrow just for being the best husband ever, just for loving me so much, just for being so cute :)

He has been pretty amazing this week. I was awake watching an infomercial while he was at work and mentioned this sweet redi set go cooking thingy to him and he bought it for me :) and it rocks. He pulled a hairball (MY hairball) out of our plumbing that was a minimum 2 and a half feet long without any sort of complaints. He bought me flowers and candles and a sweet card on another occassion, for no reason. He also is being extremely generous in B-day giving to my baby bro this week and he will be very excited. Oh yeah, he also took my cousins golfing. Among other things. I am so so lucky. And I don't care who knows it.

So tomorrow morning I'm waking up at the butt-crack of dawn so that he can have breakfast waiting for him when he gets home.

Also I applied for like eleventeen more jobs today. Ill be working by the end of next week.



Tomorrow I'm going to write about something awesome, just wait! Ha, hopefully.

I <3 you guys!