Monday, December 6, 2010


I'm so jealous. Everyone is pregnant. Everyone has their babycenter baby tickers on facebook. I'm so freaking jealous your baby is a watermelon. I'm obscenely jealous your kumquat baby is giving you morning sickness. I can't wait to hear all about your birth's. But, I have to wait.
I have to wait because I can't imagine being more emotional while Zack is gone. I can assure everyone it is in their best interests that I am not a pregnant, sad, super bitch, counting down the days until I can be with my love again. Trust me. No one wants that.
I want to enjoy every single second of my pregnancy. Positive tests. Morning sickness. Giant sore boobs. Alien baby kicks. Drug free painful, amazing, birth. Every moment. If Zack is gone, every moment will be shadowed with me wishing he was there.
Alien Baby Kicks

If I loved him less this whole thing would be so much easier.
Ugh. Stupid amazing husband.
Also, the best way for me to tolerate not being able to bother Zack will be for me to stay crazy busy. So, I'm going to work out, and tan, and WORK. I know, pick your jaw up. I'm going to work, kids. It's been a while, but I'm going to find a job that I can work hundreds of hours. Or maybe 2 jobs. I want to work so much I can't think about anything else, or spend any money.
When he gets back, we will have been waiting for baby beautiful eyes for, like.... well, for my entire life. I was born to be a Mommy. I am good at a lot of things but I can tell you right now, my best work is yet to come. Since I will be working all the live long day, and Zack will be making tax-free Bahrain dollars, we will be so set when we finally are expecting. Which is totally responsible and, frankly, unlike me.
I know it's the right decision and I'm shocked to find that I am not upset about it. I guess there was a reason that we didn't get pregnant right away. So we could make this happen for our little Ninja Baby.
So, of course, now that Zack and I have decided 100% to "be responsible" and wait until he gets home from Bahrain to get pregnant, I am just absolutely certain he will accidentally knock me up.
Whatever. It's in God's hands.


Jenn said...

hang in there. I'm in the same boat and my hubby is home. I have to wait (docs orders) until at least April to start ttc. It is killing me to say the least.

Love, Molly said...

Its absolutely driving me nuts. I want it to be time! April is close though! I'm wishing you fertile vibes for April!!