Monday, December 26, 2011

This Is NOT Right

This can not happen. I will be in Sioux City for the hearing on Wednesday and I hope that you go too.
A little over one week ago, Aurelia Iowa Town Council ordered Officer James Sak, a disabled Veteran & retired Chicago police officer, to remove his service dog, Snickers, from the city. He was told that if he did not comply with this order, that Snic...kers would be seized and killed. WHY would the town seize & execute a service dog, you may be asking? Because Snickers is a Pit Bull mix; and Pit Bulls are banned in Aurelia. Never mind that Snickers is certified with the National Service Animal Registry, or that he aids a former war veteran and police officer who suffered from a stroke leaving him with disabilities.

This is just one example of the danger, and absurdity, associated with breed specific legislation.

A Federal court hearing requesting the immediate return of Snickers to Officer Sak is scheduled for December 28th at 9:00am in Sioux City, IA. Animal Farm Foundation has arranged for representation for Officer Sak and will be traveling to Iowa to help Officer Sak fight for the right to keep his service dog. This hearing is OPEN TO THE PUBLIC - Please help by showing your support. Please also take a moment to check out this video.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Increased Sensitivity

I am very emotional lately. Shocker. I miss my husband.

This is not limited to random sobbing fits when hearing this song come up on my playlist...

That's tough... but I'm also prone to fits of unbridled and agape love for my husband and my family and friends.

What I'm saying is...

I am randomly overwhelmed by how proud I am to be introduced as "Bob's Daughter", "Mickey's Daughter", "Danny's Sister", etc, or especially "Zack's Wife". I'm proud of them and I'm proud that they are a part of me. 

Also, on occasion I will get into my bed and see that my husband is calling me and I get butterflies... and I squeeze my Hank and am overwhelmed by how lucky I am. I have a big, warm, comfortable bed, in a nice house occasionally full of dog hair from the worlds greatest dog and shredded toilet paper from the worlds most psychotic adorable cat. But mostly I am lucky to have so many people who love me... and my soulmate. It's obscene.

I am a lucky chick.

Even now typing about it I'm getting borderline weepy.

I'm a basket case. Little things set me on emotional roller coasters of epic proportions... psychotically happy a million miles an hour to anxious and missing my sweet sailor only to swing back up and slap overwhelmed with gratitude right in the mouth.

Of all the emotions I experience, anger is rarely one of them, so I'm lucky that way. People who know me know it doesn't take much to get me riled up, but to get me heated takes a lot and it's nearly impossible to bring me back without a good nights sleep.

Yes, right, like I've had one of those since May... that's happened.

So, I'm lucky that way... Because after a few facebook friend sweeps and one minor life change, all of the anger in my life will be pretty much goneski.

I feel legitimately bad for those around me lately, I am extremely hard to keep up with.

I joke frequently about having very little joy in my life... which isn't true.

I have gobs of joy.

People who I haven't spoken to more than 5 times since high school who send me things in the mail to tell me they're thinking about me when Zack had to leave... Joy. Or how about a girl who I would have considered one of my arch nemeses (excuse my dork talk, you can thank my husband) who wrote to me on facebook to tell me she was excited for me to have him home. Joy. Joy in knowing people are good.

I want to tell everyone who has reached out to me how much I appreciate each of you. I wish I could hug each of you individually... which is a big deal, since I'm not really a hugger.

I am full of gratitude and proud to be each of your friend, sister, daughter, cousin, neice, neighbor, grand daughter, facebook acquaintance. I appreciate that you're good people.

Sigh.. what a sappy blog post.
Geesh. I need to get a grip.
Ok, seriously, tomorrow, a good TGIMolly style blogpost.

Love you big!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

She's alive!

Well, I know it's probably a huge surprise to everyone.. but I am still alive and well. I am honestly embarassed by how long it's been since I've blogged. Honestly I just haven't been feeling very creative or funny lately, and I wasn't really into bummer blogging... but, in a moment of insomnia I promised my faithful readers a post, and I am a promise keeper. So, here we go...

Speaking of that, man am I behind on downiversary weekly updates... we're on like 32 now... WOOT!

As many of you saw, in the video in my last post, Zackery did get to come home for a while. He's back in Bahrain now, but it was amazing. We had a lot of fun, and a get together we called "Zackapalooza" where this picture was taken...

I know what you're thinking, and thank you, my hair does look amazing. How stinkin cute is my sweet husband though? Ahh. Adorable.

I think Zack coming home was exactly what I needed to get out of my funk, and more importantly back to my blog. I have been a disastasaur. On the real. 
Him coming home made me feel renewed, like I'm an old pro at this deployment nonsense and I can do 5 more months with my hands tied behind my back. I totally can. 

I won't lie to you though, Christmas time has been pretty flapping hard on me. I miss him like crazy, and all the things we did last Christmas are haunting me. Like how we laughed about this picture...
and all of the things I wrote about in THIS post .. sigh. 

But, I'm comforted knowing that this is the very last Christmas I will ever have to spend so far away from my soulmate.
Which is super douchey, and the best way to describe me lately.

I'm a crier. What can I say? 

Sooo while blogging I got distracted elfing.... I swear I'll blog again tomorrow, but I insist you watch this video and laugh until you read my next blog post.... tomorrow. K? I know what a let down... but seriously, watch this video...

You're welcome.

Zack Came Home!

Zack coming home on mid-tour leave =] I love this video! I love our photographer.

Also, I know this doesn't count. I will have a new post up soon =]

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Yesterday we hit the 13 week downiversary and today is our 3 MONTHS downiversary!! 9 little months left until I get to spend the rest of my life in my sweet Zackery's arms.

9 months still sucks. But it seems a lot more manageable than 12 months. It will feel better when it's 6 months or 3 months...

0 months.

Actually, fair warning, I'm going to be borderline intolerably excited the month before Zack comes home. I might not be able to function normally. That's a promise. Just putting it out there so everyone is aware ahead of time.

I'm embarassed at how badly I've eaten the last 2 weeks. I have no excuse. I'm an emotional eater and it's been an emotional couple of weeks.

I'm back on track though starting today, no more excuses.

I owe it to myself to at the very least meet my goal.

Dammit I'm going to.

After further research, it would seem I have not gained or lost any weight this week. So that's good.

Honestly it just makes me feel like "can you imagine how much you would have lost if you would have skipped the chicken nuggets?"... I ate chicken nuggets. From Mcdonalds. Twice. I shared a 6 piece with Hank.

It was for him.
Don't judge me.

I have so little to blog about when I actually sit down to blog. During the week though I have blog ideas for days. DAYS.

OH YES! Now I remember. My husband is hilarious. Like, the funniest guy I know. He did a stand up act in a talent show recently, and it's on facebook for your viewing pleasure. Click the link to watch it.!/video/video.php?v=1461088384140&comments

I'm interested to see if that link works. Let me know =]

Someday Zack's going to be a big famous comedian and buy me all sorts of expensive things. Or maybe we will end up at home and he will just make me and our kids laugh. I'm cool with either.

I just want to be with him.

So much.

Anyway. That's it for this week. I have something exciting planned for our 4 month downiversary. We will see if I get around to it.


Friday, August 5, 2011

Sarah's Way Home

Have you bought your puzzle pieces to help Sarah come home yet?

Brandon (Sarah's new Dad) is a friend of Zack's and I have gotten to know Lacee (Mom) through facebook. I have been meaning to write a post about how we should all help out this adorable military family if we can afford to, but I've been busy and spaced if off.

A more detailed post is still to come, but I wanted to make everyone aware of Sarah's journey home, and encourage you to go and buy a puzzle piece to help Sarah get to where she belongs.

Check out the blog HERE.

And Chipin there =]

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

12 Weeks Downiversary!

Only 40 weeks left :/
What. A. Buzzkill.

I'm feeling better kids.
Occasionally I will get to a place where I can't talk myself into being happy no matter how hard I try, and then someone will surprise me.
Today it was Haley
Haley sent Hank and I flowers today at work. Because she is amazing.
I've wrote about how important Hay is to me multiple times... but today she made my bad week a good week =] I love Hay.

Hay was my boyfriend when I met Zack. We spent so much time together when we lived together and I miss her bunches.

I <3 you Haley Sue, thanks for thinking of me.

I'm feeling much better.
And so is Hank!

Welp! Happy 12 weeks Downiversary all. Only 40 more of these posts left.... gah.

I love you all very much and I have lots of posts swirling around in my brain that I swear I will transfer here soonly... but I am very sleepy this evening.

Later pals!

Oh shoot! I almost forgot! Happy 20th Birthday to the best big little brother in the entire world.
Aint no mountain high enough baby!

Danny rocking our sweet double trouble sweatshirt we made for Gpa 100 years ago =]

I love you Dandelion!

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Is This A Joke??

I am having a bad day. Like colossally.

So, I'm going to ramble long-windedly for several minutes and post it to my blog. That's why having a blog is helpful when I'm a mess.

I miss my husband and this is going to be another one of those "not a hint of positivity" posts.

I'm tired of being sad.

I hate that I'm used to missing my partner.

The thing about deployments, or any separation really, is that they freaking suck.

They suck, they suck, they suck. And nobody likes them.

Today Zack and I argued. We argue a lot when we're together because we're both always right (usually I'm more right) and we're both very dramatic. Since he left however, we don't really argue much. Almost not at all actually.

It wasn't like a catastrophic fight (I almost wrote phight... eff.) or anything, but I still said things that right now at 2241 our time and 0641 tomorrow his time I'm feeling super guilty about. I know he's sleeping and I should leave him alone but I am really fighting the urge to call him sobbing right now and make him promise me that he doesn't hate me.

I love him so much.

I wish no one had to go through this whole stupid thing.

There's this double edged sword that my brain, and apparently a lot of other peoples brains, put us through where we want to celebrate a day without being too terribly sad, and then this little voice is like.... "Wait? What does that mean? Aren't you still devastated? Does this not still suck exactly the same as it did the day he left?".

Shut up, brain. Jackass.

I am still devastated. A lot of times I feel like I'm putting on a happy face for everyone else. No one wants to deal with me because I'm sad, and in reality my husband being gone for a year isn't that big of a deal... to them.
Please know, I know there are worse things that could happen, but this pretty much takes the cake on suckful things I've had to go through in my almost 25 years of life.

I hate that I was incapable of using an ATM today for a solid 20 minutes because I can't follow instructions or wait patiently for the stupid machine to function.

I hate that there was a train every single way that I drove today. I feel like in the year 2011 there must be a better way to transport.... wtf do trains even transport?? Whatever it is I'm boycotting it.

Also, I feel like everyone should quit playing the "I have it worse" game. It makes me borderline homicidal.

Stop it. You don't get a prize if you have it worse and are or are not sadder. Quit it right now.

Military wives seem to be real competitors at this game. Thank goodness none of my friends are like this. But I come across it a lot on friends facebook pages.
A friend who's husband is gone 6 months will write something like "I miss my husband" to which 11 people will respond "well I have 7 kids to feed and none of them have any shoes... also one has no feet... and we have to move to a 1 bedroom house on base because you got the good house, and he's gonna be gone 18 months, so you think you have it bad try to be me..." UGH.

Quit it.

We can all be sad.

The first person who tries to one up someone on my facebook page will be immediately eunthanized inhumanely.

Not cool.

I'm exhausted and emotional and I can't take it. Assumingly because I am a terrible person, I take a little comfort in the fact that I'm not the only one going through this.

Recently I read a birth story where a woman got through the pain by envisioning, and trying to spiritually connect with, all the women in the world in labor at that moment, and she was so focused and connected to that thought she remembers almost no pain from labor. How amazing, right?

It helps a little to know that so many people, and so many people that I care about, are going through this same awful deployment bs right now and surviving. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but the fact that we are all suffering is out of my control and I feel better envisioning we're all doing it together all over the world.

It is tough but it is temporary. Right?

That sucks so bad. That doesn't help at all tonight.

I miss my husband and I'm rambling on my blog.

That helps a little actually.

And the fact that Lucy is being sweet, possibly the first time in her entire life, right now is strangely as comforting as it is alarming.

I keep thinking about how there is almost 3 months down and I get legitimately angry at the Navy.

Tell me it's what "we or Zack signed up for" and I will cut you...

I can't freaking believe we still have 9 months left.

When it's over it will be such a relief, yet I feel like the Navy has us in a choke hold... I don't have a lot of details yet, so dont ask me... but an early out chit, to me, seems very shady.

Give up this thing we promised you, so you can go home to your wife... you know you want it... 

If he comes home early there are so many instabilities. I loathe this.

I hate that we fought about it.

Everything ended well. Worry not.

Zack and I are very much in love. Our love is unshakable.

Which is why we should be together. Right now.

Because for eff's sake I am spent. I am drained. I am exhausted. I am sad. I am sexually deprived. I am... rambling. And I am SO emotional.

I am also in love. I am lucky. I am healthy. I am loved by the most amazing man, the most amazing family, and the most amazing friends a girl can ask for.

So, I am dealing.

I'm doing the best I can.

I'm having a bad day.

Monday, July 25, 2011

11 Weeks Downiversary!

Yes I'm alive! Zack is alive.

We are doing well. I am BUSY busy.I haven't blogged in FOREVER, and would you like to know why?? Because I have a job that sucks all the creativity and the motivation and the will to live right out of me. Okay maybe not the will to live, but the rest of those things are true... because during training I work a terrible middle of the day shift. So I accomplish nothing before and after work. When I get out of training, if I survive, I will get back to my regular bloggy self. I hope.

I'm posting this early so I don't miss posting it tomorrow (Tuesday's mark our actual downiversaries, as you all know). I know I missed last weeks downiversary post, there were circumstances out of my control, and I was a disaster. At work.

I actually really do like my job, I'm just not a fan of this schedule. Not in any tiny way.

Sadly, that is really my only note-worthy update.

Oh, also, my brother moved in with me and he has been a fantastic addition to my everyday life. Also a fantastic subtraction to my refrigerator, and therefore my weight =]

Soon, I will have to update all of you on my weight loss. I am progressing slowly but surely. Exactly as I expected.

I still miss my sexy sailor every single day, but I have been feeling more positive lately. I can't wait to experience our second first kiss. All of our second firsts will be absolutely glorious.

Welp. That about sums it up kiddo's. Here's a fun song that describes our situation perfectly =]
Love you guys.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

8 Weeks Downiversary!!!

8 Weeks Down, folks! It's killing me slowly.
Just kidding.
But it does suck. I'm freaking over it. I would really like my husband to come home now.
This week I applied for a job, interviewed, got it, and started working. It was a busy week. So I apologize for the lack of bloggy goodness. I had planned a long 8 weeks downiversary post, but I had my first day of work today and had to wake up much earlier than I'm used to. So, now I have a headache and I'm a big whiney baby. Plus, I didn't get to talk to Zack very much today.
But, I do really like my new job. It seems like it's going to be a lot of fun!!

ALSO - I wanted to wish my grandparents an extremely happy 53rd Anniversary! They are as happy and in love as Zack and I hope to be in 52 years =]

So, this post is quick and painless. I need sleep. Right now.
I love you all so very much =]
Very soon I will post more indepth about my new job. Thanks for your patience!
Later Gators!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Oh Say Can You See

This morning after I woke up, I was laying in bed cuddling with Hanko and doing my morning facebook stalking. When I came across a video of deployed service members singing The National Anthem.

There is something especially emotional about hearing someone sing The Star Spangled Banner. It's undeniable. Any red-blooded American has gotten watery eyes at a sporting event when the words suddenly hit you.

This morning the words, and those singing them, hit me like a ton of heart-breaking bricks. I laid in bed sobbing and feeling exceptionally sad and patriotic.

Feast your eyes


They are so brave. Their families are so brave. I want them home. Right now.

I miss my husband so much it is physically painful. I know he misses me equally, and we are only 7 weeks and 5 days in. My heart aches for the wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, kids, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of every single deployed service member, and seeing them there singing is such a reminder. I have never been so sympathetic.

This holiday has been uniquely irritating. I know I will suffer through countless holiday's without Zackery while he is gone, but none more patriotic and loud than this one. I can not ignore it. There are National Guard in uniform everywhere for the flooding, too. There are reminders everywhere.

So while I am ready for it to be over, it has left me feeling remarkably more patriotic than I have ever felt before. I am an emotional basket case. I feel for every family that is away from their brave service member. This weekend over all of my emotions I am feeling pride for what them being gone stands for.

This holiday weekend find time to thank a service member, or their family. They're not hard to find.

Or at the very least try not to complain about how your husband has to work on the Fourth after having the whole weekend off. Our spouses have to work, too.

I love my husband and I miss him with my whole heart. I can't wait til he's home.

Happy Fourth of July weekend to all those away from their families because of duty this weekend. I am proud of all of you. Thank you so much!

Friday, July 1, 2011

I Got A Job & Other Nonsense

I am infuriated by the intentional excavating and eventual blowing up of the levee's in Desoto Bend. Supposedly no one has any idea who did it. The story KETV published first says exactly that... no one has any idea who did it. The story published minutes later says they think the residents of Desoto Bend did it... with their personal bull-dozer's and explosive's I would assume... they say they aren't sure who did it or why.

Why is it that people walking on the levee's are being ticketed $350.00 a pop but someone was able to quickly and completely demolish an entire levee while the city remained unaware. I just don't think it's possible.

I will wait to freak out until more information comes to light. But please note that I think something seriously bizarre is happening and am pointing the finger towards all of the people who seemingly rejoice when another small city has a levee breech. The same people who tell us "It's unfortunate but it has taken pressure off of our area". I am concerned. And I am extremely sad for the people who this will effect.

For today I will blog about something else.

Today I was notified that I got a job!

I decided around Monday of this week that I would have a job by the end of the week.

As much as I said I was actively searching before... I wasn't. It was more like actively looking and rarely applying. So Tuesday I applied for something like 15 jobs. By Tuesday evening I had an interview scheduled for Wednesday.

I really should teach classes on being amazing at interviews, I got the call this morning (and missed a call yesterday) informing me that my training for said job will start Tuesday.

I am hoping this will not cut into my blog time. Ha. My hours are evening hours so presumably I will have enough time to walk Hank, workout, and blog all before I need to be there daily. I am very excited.

I have a lot to do this weekend. Packing and moving and etc. Thank goodness I have amazing family and amazing friends who are helping.

You know what's funny is that I thought I had a lot of people in my corner when Zack left. I was surprised though. It turned out I had a lot more than I thought, and I am so grateful to all of them. Some perfect strangers who have offered their time and money to help me. Or at the very least their words of encouragement, or just being there to talk to about the deployment and about the flooding and everything.

There are a very few people who I thought were going to be in my corner who have really let me down, people that I truly counted on. I was, at first, heartbroken by this. But I realized that everything happens for a reason and some people are just really insensitive and selfish. And that is what it is.

Those people have been so insignificant to this journey. Even though they are (seemingly) trying to kick me while I'm down, I won't let it bother me. I'll deal with it the best I can, but I will not let it be the bullet points of the things I've learned since Zack left.

The bullet points are the people who I haven't talked to in forever, or ever, who have turned out to be so amazing.

You are all so amazing. While selling my stuff on craigslist random people will offer to help me move things. People picking up items have offered to give me extra money because they know I'm in the flood zone and they are sympathetic, because it's not fun.

People as a whole are overwhelmingly good. Today's life lessons is don't let the minority get to you. They are just people dealing with their drama in their own way.

You all know how I feel about facebook, and how I love the hide feature. No reason to hurt someone's feelings by unfriending them, just hide them. It's just like unfriending, only they never have to know. They live their lives and you are unaware of their nonsense. If they happen to bother you directly you can just remove their comments. I am learning to hide people in my real life.

I am legitimately sorry for people who are that tricky. While they have hurt my feelings, I am hiding all the negative in my life. When they have bothered me directly I will remove the nonsense from the wall that is my life.

I am so metaphoric.

Yesterday at the height of my hurt feelings, I found that when I can't speak to my sweet husband to calm me the eff down, I want to blog about it. Because I am a huge loser. But, again, it is what it is. So, forwarning. From now on, if you are completely hell bent on making sure you effect my life in a negative way, I will Taylor Swift style call you out when you're a jerk to me.

Fantastic =]

Now that that is out of the way. I don't see it coming up again.

It's been a great week! Blue sushi with my Mom, shopping with my Mom, getting a new job, lots of talking to my Zackery, getting Hank's new pills... getting my life together in general. You can't be kicked when you're down if you don't let anything bring you down.

So now I'm taking a break and going to go Zumba and skype with my Zackery, not at the same time. I am so very in love with him.

More soon friends =]
Love you bunches!

Find a way to give back today, we all have so much to be thankful for!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

My Lovely Readers

I wanted to take a moment to welcome my new readers! In the last couple of months, since Zack left really, my readership has increased dramatically. Although my official "followers" have not... which is silly. (FOLLOW ME!)

I know a lot of you are venturing over from the Weight Watchers website to read about my progress. I am so happy all of you are here. You're all so inspirational to me, and I am happy that you guys are here to read about how I'm doing, since I am actively stalking most of you.

For some reason up to this point I have been on the "I need a workout/weight loss buddy" belief, and with all of you I don't need someone who is physically here. I feel just as accountable to all of you online as I would if you were here.

WW plan followers are a fun and feisty group and I am honored to have you as readers and friends =]

I know a large influx of readers are here because your friends, and my friends, are sharing my blog posts on their facebook pages. Everytime I see someone share one of my posts I'm so very flattered. I would even say speechless, which is completely unheard of in MollyLand. The sharing really has brought a lot of people here.

I think this new group of readers is made up of local people who are interested in what I'm writing about about the flooding and area businesses, and also Military Wives.

I am a proud resident of Council Bluffs. I'm from here, I'll always live here, and I'm proud to be here. So thanks for reading neighbors! It means a lot to me. Look for more posts in the future concerning local issues and local business.

I am also a proud Military Wife. When I first joined this exclusive group I was apprehensive about other military wives, and how they would welcome someone as liberal and loud as I am. They have welcomed me with open arms and you would be surprised just how many like-minds are in this particular group. I welcome your readership and I am so proud to be a part of your group =] I hope that if you're a new Military Wife you can find some helpful information here.

It would also seem I have a lot of people finding my blog from searching intensely bizarre things on google and winding up here. "Naked wife looking for skype friend at night while husband is gone", hm.. "Can anyone else see my naked wife on skype".. haha! It's the internet. Someone might see it. Be careful. "Molly blog Hank dog" I appreciate the rhyming... I wonder if that person was trying to get to me?

I don't care why you're here, I like that you're reading. I think bloggers who say they don't care about how many readers they have are big fat liars. I hope that you stick around! 

As you know I have been selling a ton of my stuff on craigslist in order to avoid moving it. Saturday someone was coming over to pick up a tv stand and a rug, I met her outside to avoid having to walk past the rabid kitten, and we went in the entrance to the basement. She was looking at me like she knew me and then suddenly said "You look really familiar... are you Molly from the TGIMolly blog?".

How crazy is that? I said "Uh, yeah" and she spent the next couple of minutes telling me how she wasn't a weirdo and one of her friends had shared my blog a few weeks back and she had been obsessively reading all of my posts from the beginning. It was crazy, and I felt like a celebrity. haha.

Then I opened the door to upstairs to put my keys on the hook inside the door, and Hank ran downstairs. She said "Hank! It's Hank!" hahaha. Yes I assume all of my readers would recognize my Hank. It was very bizarre. I was very flattered.

Hey craigslister! Sorry I didn't get your name. I hope the tv stand is working out for you.

Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for reading. I appreciate it greatly =]
More tomorrow, friends!


Happy 7 Weeks Downiversary!!

7 weeks down readers!!!!!!!! Only like... 45 more of these posts... yikes.

Someone sent me a link to this bumper sticker this week. Not a big American Method fan, but I do love this sticker.  

So here's my week 7 update.
I have been a nervous wreck about the flooding this week. I guess it really hit me this week I am going to be legitimately homeless very soon.
Well, I'll have a place to live, but not my own home. I am not excited.
So quick update on my Zackery. He is doing so well. He's happy and swimming at this very moment.
At first it was hard for both of us to adjust on how much effort we would have to put into making sure our relationship stayed the same.
We talk multiple times a day and we are very, VERY, lucky to have that ability. I switched phone services to be able to text him whenever I want.
For a couple who is used to spending most of their lives within a couple of feet of each other, this is a huge transition. When we are together we can go a couple of days just hanging out together and not having a "real" conversation outside of "What should we have for dinner?" or "did you see that?". So, having each other on the phone everyday and finding things to talk about is a change that we had to get used to.
A lot of people told us before he left, this could be really great for your relationship, but you'll really have to work at it. Which sounds like great advice, only no one could elaborate on what exactly that meant. For us it means talking to each other about the little things, we're finding. Making sure we still feel close to each other. It's important.
I miss him so much. I send him sappy quotes on the regular to try to convey how much I love him and miss him. Because I am really just a dopey-in-love-teenager at heart.
He is enjoying his job.
We are sort of panicking about our next step/next duty station.
But mostly we are doing fantastic. He is doing quite well.
He misses our family.
It reminds me not to take advantage of spending time with them, even if they do drive me absolutely crazy.
I really need to get to Indiana and see our Indi family. I miss them desperately.
In just a couple of quick weeks I will be smack dab in the middle of a very exciting weekend of Doula learning =]  I have never been more excited about learning in my entire life.
Things are getting exciting.
I'm also actively looking for employment, which is a strange feeling.
So, hire me! Hooray!
I've been selling most of the things I own on craigslist, to avoid moving them. I will end up selling all of it anyway when we switch duty stations next year, but it still bums me out.
What a random post this is. But, whatever. I guess there  just isn't much to report on this week. Just a bunch of random nonsense.
I passed the 15 pounds down mark this week! That's pretty exciting. Passed it by quite a bit, actually! I am so happy. I can't wait until Zack gets home to see my progress. He is going to be awfully surprised.
My mom kept trying to coerce me into walking to get ice cream with her the other day and I said "Mom, just think of how sexy we will be when Zack gets home.". She doesn't get it, but we're going to be uber hot!
This week I discovered Kale Chips, and used my oven! Watch out Rachel Ray, I can cook a mean Kale Chip. 10 minutes of prep and cooking for a delicious snack at 1 measly Point? Yes, please.
So, I am happy to report we have made it to our 7 weeks downiversary, successfully. A good week is one without much to report I suppose.
Thanks for reading =]

Friday, June 24, 2011

Facebook Official

Today Zack was in not-so-rare form.

He called me while he was playing Playstation and he was slightly distracted, and not-so-slightly obnoxious. One of his new Bahrain besties, who he actually knew at Offutt as well, was in the background loudly searching for his cigarettes.

I mentioned to Zack that yesterday over beers my Grandpa said "Has Zack started dating any Bahraini's", he may not have said Bahraini's but he's a goofy old dude. I thought Zack would think Erv's comment was goofy so I relayed it to him.

When I told Zack he said "Neh, not yet.".

I am apparently humorless on this topic, and did not think this was a funny reply. I guess I don't know what I expected from him. I suppose if I'd been thinking I would have known this is exactly what he would say.

I wasn't angry but I was giving him a hard time and background friend said "Tell her we're dating, and that it's going to be facebook official.".

Facebook is a big deal. Lets not down play what a big deal Facebook is.

It's a huge deal.

I knew they were joking but still instantly in my brain I could see all my friends newsfeeds "Molly Williams is no longer Married to Zackery Williams" heart. break. "Zackery Williams is no longer listed as Married" "Zackery is now in a relationship and "it's complicated" with Obnoxious Friend". Clearly everyone would know it was a joke. I hope. But in my head I was doing hypothetical damage control.

"Zackery! Don't you dare!!" "Wow, crazy. Calm down. It's just facebook. I love you."

I tried to explain to Zack, like I have multiple times, how Facebook is not "just facebook". Facebook, whether he likes it or not, is a huge part of our relationship right now. It's one of about 4 ways we can communicate and feel close to each other and I don't find it to be a joking matter at all. "Molly relax, I'm not going to change my facebook, but it is just facebook. I love you more.. ok?" He thinks I'm totally out of my mind.

Maybe I'm uptight, ask me if I care.

I have 600+ facebook friends. Tons and tons of people who know my parents, who know my family, who know me, who know everybody. It isn't just facebook.

I don't know if everyone watched the video I've previously posted of the guy talking about Military Wives who live for facebook comments from their husbands. We do. I love waking up to "so sweet you'll get a cavity" comments on facebook from my adorable husband half a world away. This is how facebook becomes a much larger deal to me.

I think a lot of people put a lot of weight on facebook, it's not just me. Facebook is not your parents MySpace.

 I for one can not believe you are in a relationship that you place any value on if you are unwilling to make it "facebook official". I think that's shady. And it is.

A friend of mine is "facebook officially" married, and I am still not convinced she isn't in real life... Seriously, Cassie, I'm on to you.

I think it's just about the lowest blow if you Facebook harass your significant other while fighting. I have a friend who's husband recently changed his profile picture from a picture of the two of them together, to a picture of just him while they were fighting. She was upset. I was upset for her. Let me tell you I would fly to Bahrain if Zack did that...

This is a pretty common feeling among Military Wives and all facebook users alike.

Also, I think facebook is a pretty good indicator of a person, if they use it daily. For example, I can tell that you're 4+ years of college was wasted if you still spell things incorrectly on purpose or add extra letters to perfectly good words.

I'm just saying.

Facebook is a big deal. People use it to connect. Employers use it to judge potential employees. Online daters use it to determine whether or not they will be assaulted in a face to face meeting.

I have used it to meet my Sister-In-Law's boyfriend, since they live in another state. At first I was skeptical, because of what I found on his facebook, I won't lie. But, I have watched their relationship grow into a vomit-inducing level of sweet on facebook.

So everyone, including my sweet husband, should definitely quit saying "it's just facebook".  Because it makes me feel the need to defend my friend, Facebook

Facebook is amazing.

That is all =]

I have to go run around like a chicken with my head cut off, due to flood panic. Story of my life!
I am reachable on Facebook if you need me, haha.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

6 Weeks Downiversary!

So, I'm totally over the whole deck of cards thing...

Welp. Another long week down.

It doesn't seem possible at all that it's been 6 weeks!

I definitely didn't know it would be this hard to adjust. It is. But, it is getting easier. I was just telling Zack that today. It's getting easier to be by myself so much. I miss him, but I can sleep a little more now. I don't cry myself to sleep every night.

There are still some nights when I do. But our sweet Hank is there to squeeze. Lucy is there to... attack me.

Things aren't perfect, but they're getting better. It's getting to be ok.

And I feel terrible about that. I know that's stupid, and I know Zack doesn't want me to be sad all the time. Honestly, I don't want it either. It's a subconcious thing. If it's getting easier that must mean that I'm learning to live without him, and that's where I'm not comfortable. I feel guilty. I don't want to learn to live without him, I don't want to stop missing him. I wont him to come home. I know it's stupid and I have to live my own life. I can't help it. I really wish I didn't feel that way.

But, it is getting easier.

I just wish he could come home. I miss him so much.

As it turns out not working for as long as I did, first because I didn't want to, and second so that I could spend time with Zack, is not helping me re-enter the workforce. I'm not particularly concerned about money, but it would be nice to have some sort of schedule. Good for my mental health, ya feel me?

I am losing weight like it's my job though, and that is a lot of fun. Even when I'm feeling absolutely terrible, it still makes me feel good to look at how my clothes are fitting. This week I found a pair of capri's I meant to return 2 months ago, because when I bought them I didn't try them on and when I got them home I couldn't even button them. This time they fit comfortably, even a little loose. After wearing them a couple of hours I definitely needed a belt.
I was so excited I almost peed.

Losing weight for me is definitely sort of a psychological experiment. When I eat right, and excercise, I feel good but there is a certain level of anxiety and compulsion that I feel the entire day. If I have a day where I cheat, even a little- were talking one cookie that I count the points for and still stay on my WW plan-, I am far more relaxed. I don't know what that's about.

I mean I do, I think it's pretty obvious. When I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing I obsess about it and it's all I can think about, therefore driving me slightly out of my mind. When I cheat, even if it's not really cheating, all the pressure of doing everything right is gone. I guess I just need to give myself a break.

I'm a douche.

Whatever it takes. It's working.

This whole flood thing is getting totally out of hand. I'm ready for it to be OVER. I don't want it to happen, but for goodness sake either do it or don't! Everyone is on edge. It's exhausting. The rumors are obscene. I certainly hope 98% of them are false.

I will say I can't help but find it rude and insensitive the way the local media is handling the whole situation. "Another small town in Iowa has been devastated by a breach in the levee. Now to Derek for more College World Series news." Are you joking?

I get it. This area needs the CWS, it makes everybody a lot of money. But if the city officials can say confidently "We are not going to allow the flooding to get to TD Ameritrade Park" why can't the city officials say "We are not going to allow the flooding to devastate everyone in the flood zones". Excuse me while my conspiracy theorist comes out, but I think something shady is happening here. There are military trucks, filled with uniformed National Guard, everywhere!

What is going on?!

The people in my area, and people MILES from the river, are being informed that we are in a level 1 alert. Level 1 Alert, as indicated by the paper work they gave me, is the threat of an unusual or slowly developing event that may impact a levee system or a flood protection system. So, basically level 1 is them telling us "something is going to happen". So, why in the world has it not been mentioned ONCE on the news?! I can only imagine that it is thousands of people who have been informed, by CITY OFFICIALS, going door to door and no one has said word one about level one.


Also, on the paperwork given to me there is a number that you can call to be signed up for a phone call if and when there is an emergency type issue. I can only imagine this is available because they won't mention it on the news. I called the number Sunday, when I was notified, to sign up... angrily. Get this, though... they're not OPEN ON SUNDAYS! No one is available to answer the phone on Sundays. Let's all cross our fingers the levee's work extra hard on Sundays.

I just called them again (written Monday) , to get signed up and the lady said "If you have internet, you could just sign up online.". Well color me foolish, I suppose I could have read that in the paperwork... only that IS NOT IN ANY OF THE PAPERWORK?! I hate to complain, I know they have tough jobs, but I feel like this situation is not being handled well by our city officials. The lady was like " I know it's not on any of the information being given out. I don't know why it's not on any of those papers.". Me either, lady. Me either.
I am annoyed.

I am packing.

I am missing my husband.

Best I can do, I suppose.

Other than my obvious distaste for this situation, I am doing better. I do miss my husband like crazy. I love him so much, and I think this situation would be much easier if he was here. But, I am learning to be strong. I am learning to kick this deployments ass one day at a time. One week at a time. One month at a time. Next thing you know all of this will be a bad memory and Zack and I will live happily ever after on top of a hill hundreds of miles from any water source :]

Thank you for going through this journey with me you guys. You're all so fantastic!

Monday, June 20, 2011

A Girl Has Needs

This one is at the top of my list today...
I need these shoes boys and girls. I need them.

I don't know when I became the kind of person who feels guilty spending a large amount of money, but it happened at some point. These puppies are 90 dollars.

I'm sure if they were pretty shoes, heels or pretty flats or something, I would have no problem dropping that kind of cash on them. But they're just trainers, and I will only wear them to workout.

Actually that's really 90% of the reason I leave my soggy house nowadays, maybe I need to just suck it up and make the investment.

Why do I need these Lunarfly+2 shoes? Because my feet are a sore and miserable mess. It's really awful. I won't go into detail, but trust me... It's horrifying.

Also these shoes are nike+ ready. Nike+ is the most amazing technology.

What will happen is I'll put that cute little sensor in the predetermined location inside of my cute new Lunarfly's and tell my iPhone (not ipod) I'm getting my workout on. Then my iPhone talks to my SHOE?! It knows how far we go, it knows how fast we go, and how hard we were working (me and my shoes). It will tell me how many calories I've lost and let me listen to a playlist of my favorite workout songs and end my workout with my "PowerSong" for motivation.

Also, apparently, if I sync my nike+ system with my facebook account, it will tell my facebook friends when I'm about to start a workout. Then if my friends "like" that I'm working out, my phone gets the notification and I hear applause with my music. Kind of cheesy, but I love cheesy.

Motivation is fun.

I need those items. Lunarfly's and the nike+ iPhone system. Contact me for my PayPal information if you would like to make a donation... in the interest of my health, and the health of my poor, poor feet.

I'm going crazy, and my mother and my cousin are driving me there. My Mom can't understand why I don't just wear a pair of her shoes, that are 2 sizes too big (and hideous) and completely flat on the bottom. I have humungously high arches, and I'm a pain in the ass and I like to wear shoes that fit. And aren't hideous.
My cousin can't understand why I don't just buy a pair of payless tennis shoes. Well, because my feet already hurt. I'm not trying to wear hard plastic, 12 pound, torture devices on my already bruised and battered feet.
They mean well.

I am off to do more packing, and more bothering my husband from a world away. I hope you all have a fantastic Monday! Tomorrow is our 6 Weeks Downiversary, and my next weigh in! Get excited, readers! I know I am!!

<3 you!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Naked Hank

I expected this post to be a lot more exciting, haha. He actually doesn't look bad.
I really thought he would look naked. I was told since he has pink skin he would have to be sunscreened efficiently everytime he went outside.
Except his hair is stupidly thick. It has been since he was an adorable baby puppy.

He is also just unbelievably cute, as you saw last week with my Hank filled post. I should have known he would remain that way even naked...

Really, you can barely tell. You can't even tell he has pink skin. The lady who shaved him said she couldn't believe how much hair came off of him. Ha, tell me about it.

He's adorable. He just looks skinny now. Speaking of that, he's not NEARLY as overweight as everyone was telling me he was.
I knew it.
He's much cooler now =]

I think it's a good fit for him!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Molly On Weiner

Weiner resigning is such a bummer. One because I find the irony of his name, and this situation, so fantastically hilarious. But mainly because I don't think a little cell phone nudity warrants this type of outrage.

A divorce, maybe. If I was his wife, I would leave him.

Let he or she who has never taken a naked cell phone picture cast the first stone.

I sympathize with Weiner because one drunken evening a couple of years ago I accidentally uploaded a topless picture to facebook. It could happen to anyone. Cell phones are confusing, people.

I guess I just don't think it's that big of a deal. I think the people yelling at him during his resignation are complete douche bags. If you think sending a hot (of age) chick a picture of your junk makes you a "sick pervert" I invite you to happily live silently the rest of your life. You don't deserve to speak.

The guy who yelled "The people demand to know! Are you more than 7 inches?!" cracked me up however. If you gotta yell, I'm glad that's what you picked. The lunatics yelling "you sick pervert" at him thought they should yell and make it clear "that guy's not with us! kick him out!". Hahaha. No, dude. He's with you. On the crazy bus.

Barbara Walters has seen the uncensored picture of his ... manhood... and she said it was "impressive" on The View. I guess we don't know how many men Babs has seen naked, but I bet its enough to recognize an impressive peep. He's just proud.

I don't know. Maybe I'm missing something. He didn't touch anyone. None of the girls he sent pictures to were underage.

Anyway. That's all I have to say about that, I suppose.

Hank is currently at the groomer. I should be cleaning the dog hair out of my car and grooming myself, because I'm babysitting for a friend of Zack's this evening. I am not, of course. I will wait until minutes before I have to leave, I'm sure.

It's just that this Shania Twain rerun on Oprah is so captivating. I can't seem to pull myself away.
When she said after her husband cheated on her, and they were getting divorced, that she was freezing and the only thing that could make her stop shaking was to be chin-deep in a steaming hot bubble bath. That's me. When I'm super sad, scared, or anxious, I'm suddenly FREEZING and shakey. I get that. I get her.

I talked to Zack a lot today. I really needed him to tell me Hank was going to be alright at the groomer, because I'm a little bit of a lunatic. If he tells me he is ok, I feel like it must be true. He is off work for the next couple days and is spending his time playing video games with his new bestie David. I like David, he seems very interesting. Most importantly Zack likes David, they seem to get along quite well.

Well, I should shower. It's hot as could be outside and it's important I shower before I go to babysit. I'm really looking forward to babysitting =]

Have a great night everyone, I encourage all of you to send naked cell phone pictures to your significant others, and not twitter. Especially if you are a politician.

Be looking for a "Hank's New 'Do" Post in the near future!


Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I went to walmart today. I am not a fan of walmart. I like to get in and get out. As fast as possible.

Today I saw someone at walmart I know vaguely from high school and facebook. She stopped me. Not a polite smile, not a wave, she stopped me. I didn't like where this was going, but I was polite.

I am a firm believer in being kind.

You never know what kind of a day someone is having, or what kind of place they're at in their lives.

I guess I just know that if someone who I vaguely know is stopping me in walmart to make conversation, she probably really needs someone to talk to, or she thinks I do.

This person told me she had just found out she was pregnant, again.

I went through my mental roll-o-dex to check the facts. Did I know this already? If it was on facebook, surely I would have seen it. Nope, I didn't know. How many kids does she already have? 2. Isn't she always complaining about them and how her boyfriend is physically and verbally abusive on facebook? Oh, yes.
This is why I didn't know this person was pregnant, she is facebook hidden.

I love hiding people. I don't have to worry about their children if I don't have to read about how they're "guna get a whoopin if they don't stop bein NOTTY" (actual status of this person).

Do you ever have the sudden urge to tell someone you barely know that you would be happy to adopt their unborn child? Just me? Well, whatever.

I hurried from the conversation. She offered nothing else. She was excited for the baby and "kicked out that liar" who I assumed was the abusive boyfriend. I'll pray for them and hope for the best.

I doubt she's reading this, but if you are- I didn't mean to offend you, and honestly I would adopt any of the three of your kids in a heart beat. Let me know.

I honestly do try hard not to judge people, but I feel like I have enough info there to know we couldn't be friends.

After my encounter with the reason I rarely shop where I might see someone I know, I continued with my shopping.

Let me precede the next story with this fact, I love red grapes. Green ones are sour and gross and I don't know why people would choose them over red.


This walmart is ALWAYS out of red grapes.

Do you ever have that moment when someone who is clearly without all of their mental faculties, or even TOTALLY out of their mind, is saying what you are thinking but would never say?

For example, one time things were moving slowly at the zoo and we were stuck with 100 other sweaty stinky people waddling through that hot dark tunnel in the rainforest. My mom was freaking out. When out of nowhere this perfectly nice mentally handicapped gentleman started shouting "ALRIGHT, HURRY UP! I'M GONNA FREAKOUT! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! I'M HOT! HURRY UP!". My mom said he was speaking her inner monologue.

Today walmart was out of crunchy delicious red grapes. I was disappointed. This day was not going well.

When suddenly, I had to check to make sure I still had a hold on things, was that me yelling?


I was cracking up. I wanted to say "Yeah, I'm with crazy! Where are the expletive red grapes?" But I didn't. I grabbed a bag of icky green ones and I shuffled away trying not to laugh.

Sigh, walmart. At least it wasn't night time. It wasn't totally packed.

Tomorrow my little Hank is having his hair shaved! I am nervous, but this place is a lot nicer and therefore less stressful for me. I am finding that he is less stressed if he is tired, and the place he's getting groomed at is about 23 blocks from our house, which is what I've been walking with him. So I'm going to drive my car down there and leave it. Then walk home, get Hank and walk him back to the groomer. That way he is tired and it will be less stressful for him to be groomed.

He's been sort of achey after we walk. He's good the next day, but for the day after we walk he has a hard time getting up after he is laying down. It's still easy for him to run around the yard with the neighbors dog, but getting up from a nap is rough. I guess I need to make an appointment with his vet to make sure walking him isn't detrimental.

My google vet skills say it's just because he's out of shape, and that he will get used to it and be ok. That this is good for him. It's still hard to see him sore. I supposed I'll buy a supplement. He's only 5.

I'm excited to post pictures of his new 'do! I'm sure it will be comical if nothing else.

Welp I suppose that's all for today boys and girls.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Now Walk It Out

Hank and I have been getting our walk on people.
We have been taking long walks everyday now for the passed 4 days, and I am so serious that this is a new healthy habit we are doing from this point forward.

I know 4 days doesn't seem like much, but it really is. Considering our previous level of activity.

The other day, Hank had a vet appointment to get a shot so that he is good to be groomed on Thursday. At the last minute I decided to cancel the appointment at our regular vet, and reschedule at a vet about 11 blocks from our house, since it was just a shot.

And then, get this, WE WALKED THERE!

I know that doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but it is. There are a couple of things you should understand to really get the enormity of the situation. Also, I feel like enormity is a word, but honestly it might not be.


No one in my town, and especially my neighborhood, walks ANYWHERE if they have a car. Poor people and those under 16 walk, and everyone else drives.
I have a brand new beautiful car, so I always drive. I love to drive. I have wrote before, here and on facebook, about how nothing feels quite as relaxing and amazing as driving on a sunny day with cute sunglasses on, with the windows down, music up, and Hank in my passenger seat. Except maybe if Zack were in the car also.
So there's that.

Another reason this is a huge step, and a big deal, is because Hank and I have previous trauma walking in our neighborhood. Hank was attacked once while Haley and I walked him and we were both totally horrified. These 2 dogs came out from behind a bush and totally mauled him. He just stood there. Scared to death. While Haley held the leash, and made a weird scared-Haley noise. I put my entire body between Hank and the bigger dog, and Ceasar Milan-ed the SHIT out of that little bastard.
Finally the owner of the rabid beasts (one of which weighed no more than 25 pounds) came to our rescue.
I was horrified when he kicked the big dog in the ribs and threw the little one (literally) inside the house. He checked to make sure Hank was ok, and that was nice of him, but clearly he was too stupid to keep his stupid children from letting his stupid dogs outside.
There are a lot of stupid people in my neighborhood, so needless to say, Hank and I have aversions to walking here.

Also, there was a time in my life where my apartment complex was literally RIGHT NEXT to my place of business, and I chose to drive. At that time I had a less exciting car too. One night, because I was dating a moron, my car was towed for being parked illegally, and I missed work because I "had no ride". I was super skinny then (even if I thought I was a massive beast) and in shape enough that I could have walked NEXT DOOR without a problem. But, it just never occured to me.

So, Hank and I walking to a Vet appointment is really a huge step in the right direction. Even if Hank thought for sure he was dying afterwards.

The problem with this has been that I do not have any shoes that are comfortable for long distance walking. Honestly I only own like 3 pairs of shoes that aren't heels or flip flops, and they are super fancy flats.
So, my blisters have blisters.

So next on my agenda is super spectacular new Nike's and getting Hank some joint supplements. He gets all limpy and stiff when we get home. He's only 5.

Good habits, folks! The times they are a changin'.

5 Weeks Downiversary!

This week has sailed along quite smoothly. So smoothly in fact I have very little to update everyone on this week.
As you may have read, we have officially passed our ONE MONTH DOWNIVERSARY! Which is very exciting. That means we only have 11 tiny months left.
You may notice I've changed the "weekly count" tab to the "Downiversary" tab, because I made up that word in the middle of the night last night, and I think it's more exciting to celebrate having a week down, instead of mark it.
So HAPPY 5 WEEKS DOWNIVERSARY everybody! We have a measily 47 or 48 weeks left until I am wrapped in my husbands arms forever.
I will share with you, that this week of my weight loss journey I have discovered that there is no motivation like hearing the people you love tell you they are proud of you. After today's weigh in (where I lost over 5 pounds) I am feeling high as a kite. Literally euphoric! It feels so good to hear others tell me that they are proud of me, but ya know what? I am super proud of myself. I am getting healthy. I am getting Hank healthy, and even though he is not a fan yet, we walk everyday now!
Today I am rewarding hitting my first big mini-goal of 5% of my weight lost (!!!) by buying myself... well, technically Zack's buying myself... a new pair of tennis shoes! My blisters have blisters, and I think it's time. I am so excited. Thank you Zackery!
You may have noticed an additional tab on my blog celebrating my weight loss accomplishments. I added that to keep myself accountable to all of you as well. I'm a lot less likely to give up or gain weight if I have to tell all of you!
So, I'm off to buy shoes!
Thanks for reading boys and girls! This was a great week!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

One Month Downski

I can't believe it's been a month.... since I shaved my legs.

Just kidding.

I've shaved my legs at least once in there somewhere.

A month of barely sleeping. A month of never being more than 2 feet away from my phone. A month of missing my husband with my whole heart.

Let me tell you  something super sappy i've learned.

I've learned that I am absolutely crazy about my husband. I love him more than I even knew before he left, and even then people were annoyed by how much we loved each other.
Like that song "I thought I loved you then", I know that's totally cheesy, but seriously. It is so true.

The day I married Zack I remember thinking "This is the best day. My heart is so full of love for this man. I have never felt anything like this before. This is it. This love is what everyone looks for." Then on our one month anniversary I thought, "This is the love everyone looks for, I can't believe how much more I love him than I did just a month ago. My heart is so full. I am so happy." Then on our one year anniversary, just a little over a month ago, fearing this deployment could damage our relationship, I made a mental note "Molly, remember how much you love your husband at this moment. Your heart is so full. You are so blissfully happy. You are so lucky. This love, is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Never let your love for him be any less than it is at this very moment. He loves you so much. You are so lucky.". Little did I know...

Then here we are today. One month since he left. One year, one month, and 3 days since we got married. I am so overwhelmed with how much I feel for Zack. I can't believe how speaking to him changes my mood and my day. I can't believe the way my body physically aches to be close to him. It's amazing to me that even with everything going on and all the things that suck about this I can still step back, even if just for a moment, and realize how lucky I am to have a love like ours.

I know, sappy Sally. But, seriously, I can't get over it. I'm so in love with my husband.

I never thought I would be one of those women who is this proud of their husband. I am one of those people who has I Love My Sailor magnets on their car. I search the internet for the most perfect custom "Proud Navy Wife" decal for my brand new car. I want to shake the hands of random service members, they feel like brothers of my husband. I want to hug their wives, and tell them how strong and amazing they are.

All because I am so over-the-top in love with, and proud of, my husband.
I will work really hard to remember how this feels. How it feels right now to be sitting in our house by myself while he sleeps thousands of miles away. I'll remember and work hard to never take a moment with him for granted. I can't wait to appreciate his dirty socks everywhere.

Of course I've learned a lot since he left about us, and communicating, and our relationship. What's important to tell him and what isn't. But we're getting the hang of it. Even though it is totally suckful, we're going to get through this.

We are lucky and blessed.

I can't wait to be that close to him again =]

***It's easier than ever to comment on these posts! Please leave a comment =]***

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Yep. I'm That Girl. Poor Hank.

Today I cried in the dog groomer and couldn't leave Hank there to be groomed.

Don't judge me. Let me explain.

Hank desperately needs to be groomed. He sheds year round enough to drive any pet owner completely out of their mind. And twice a year he "blows coat" which isn't what you think... gross... he basically molts. HUGE handfuls of hair just fall off of his body. It's disgusting. I however, love him so much I barely notice until someone else says something or I'm wearing something nice, and black.

I'm talking pay a large ransom love.

Who wouldn't love that sweet face??

Hank has been through a lot with me. He was a gift from my ex, and one of the only good things that came from that relationship. He was with me when I was embarassed because everyone was talking, before and after the break up. He was with me at my parents house between houses, when I cried myself to sleep, because I wasted so much time. He sat with me in the bathroom all the nights Haley lived with me, when I was too drunk to make it to my bedroom. He met and vetted lots of guys before Zack. He has been there through all the big moments of my life the last 5 years, the most important of which was meeting and falling in love with my sweet Zackery. He was my first clue Zack was the one for us.

Hank was at the bottom of the pile during the chapstick story.

Zack loves Hank.

He picked up Hank poop in the front yard, he loved Hank and played with him, and most of all he rarely- if ever- complained about the ridiculous amounts of Hank hair. But also, it turned out, Zack and Hank were already related.

When I got Hank, he was a sweet little 10 pound ball of white fur. The cutest little puppy I've ever seen. I am struggling to find a puppy picture, but I'll put one up eventually. He was silent and slept for the first 48 hours after we brought him home from the pound. I named him Hank because I love country music and I like people names for dogs. So we named him Hank after Hank Williams.

Zackery's last name is also Williams.
Hero: Zackery Williams-- See?

Which makes it fun to call and make appointments for Hank Williams. People always laugh and think I'm one of those people who names their dog a name like that since Williams is my last name. I'm not. He had my last name for 4 years, first. But it's still pretty funny.


Hank is my favorite. I love him so much. I would never ever put him in a situation we were not both 100% confident about. He loves Barb's Best Friends doggy daycare, and he's very social. He hates the vet, but it's a necessity, and I would never ever leave him there without me. I want him to feel confident that I will keep him safe, because he has helped me get through some pretty terrible parts of my life, and I owe that to him. Hank is more than my dog, he is my friend, and he is my baby. I am that girl.

Hank loves the water, so in the past when he has just been bathed at the groomer I am confident that he isn't scared, and I feel like I can leave him there. He loves people, and anytime people are paying attention to him he's happy as could be.

Here's Hank loving Haley after a dip in Manawa

This time was different, because our house is in the flood zone, and we are more than likely going to have to move in with my parents for at least a little while. Since my parents think that sheddy dogs live outside, and Hank and I have a very different opinion on the subject, I decided that I would get him shaved into the lion cut this year so that he can habitate the indoors right by my side where he belongs. Plus he has terrible allergies and someone suggested that the cut might help him to attract less allergens... I'm not sure about that but I'm willing to give it a try. Also, It's hot as the sun where we live in the summer, and he gets miserable unless he is in the lake. So even though he has a beautiful, double coat, I decided it was our only option. Even though I was feeling a lot of guilt about it.

Look how cute that baby is?!

So here we are today. I made an appointment a couple of days ago at the one place that wasn't going to charge us $80.00 or more. Today at 11 was his appointment, and we got there about 10:55. As we drove up I was immediately concerned. The building was a house. In a completely residential area, and it was not a very nice house, I could tell from the outside. There were kennels outside because the place is a doggy daycare also, which is concerning since to be groomed there they do not require the Kennel Cough Vaccine. There was a sign outside that said "Puppies For Sale In July" and nothing makes me angrier than people breeding puppies for cash when the shelters are FULL.

Don't get me started.

Hank and I parked and walked towards the house. He was stoked. He loves to visit people, he's always excited. As soon as I opened the door to their screened in porch, the stench of cigarette smoke hit me. Super professional. What did I expect?

Despite my better judgement we kept walking in and as soon as Hank smelled the entry rug (which probably smelled like nervous animals) he immediately got nervous and his ears went down and he hunched as close to the ground as possible. He trusts me though, and he kept walking in with me. Hank and I have went to parties at much grosser places.

The receptionist greeted us and made a Hank Williams joke, as she would. I gave her Hanks shot records and out of nowhere, this LOUD and seemingly vicious dog bark came out of the back of the house. Hank bolted for the door. He is a lover not a fighter. He was scared, and all I could think of was he really needs his haircut... he really needs it, and I'll wait outside in my car the 3 hours it takes, I'll pick him up as soon as he's done. This will be fine. He's ok.

He was not ok.

After a minute we walked to the back of the house to put him in a pin to wait for his turn to be groomed. There were several dogs pinned in the back for "day care" (Barbs Best Friends is doggy daycare, not pins) and the receptionist slid a plastic tray under a big pin RIGHT NEXT to the dog who was WIGGING OUT. Hank was not having it. He kept looking at me like "Are you on drugs? You must be on drugs." He was so scared. I have terrible guilt for not leaving right then. The other dog was banging against the side of her pin trying to get to Hank. I forgot to mention, I also had a very rough, scream at the top of your lungs "I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK", type of night, and I was exhausted and as such very emotional. So, I started to cry. Not sobbing, but like sad movie crying. Silent crying, but there were definitely tears.

Yep. Get the visual. I'm not even embarassed. I was having a moment. Don't judge me.

The receptionist sort of paniced at this point. She could tell we were both pretty distressed (haha). What she did next though, made me go put Hank back in the car.
Hank is a German Shepherd mix. Anyone who works with dogs knows that particular breed frequently have hip joint issues, and Hank definitely does. This bitch got on her knees, leaned forward and grabbed my BABY by his front legs and tried to pull him into the pin. I, terrets style, loudly blurted out "STOP!" and yanked the leash away from her and started walking towards the door. No one manhandles my baby.

I was trying to continue to be nice, because I knew if I lost my temper the police were likely to attend our consultation. My rage, however, was boiling to that point and I felt like it was probably time to rush out of there. She said she would reschedule me an appointment when there would be less dogs in there, and I smiled politely and walked to my car. Where I sat and hugged my Hank and apologized over and over. Poor dude.

I drove him to another groomer, where my mom takes her dog, that was more expensive (still not terrible) but someone I trust and took Hank in to make an appointment. Like I should have done the first time. I'm a loser.

He's going next week, and I will let all of you know how that goes. In the mean time if you live in this area, and need a fun and safe place to take your dog for daycare or boarding stick with Barb's Best friends.

I told the other groomer how horrified I was by the whole experience and they promised me they would be good to him and I could stay the whole time if I wanted. Hank even liked being in the building and was excited to see all of the other dogs casually walking around in there.

So, I am feeling like the worlds worst dog mom. I took Hank to McDonalds to get him chicken nuggets and an ice cream cone. He was still nervous and his usually perky adorable ears were still glued to the side of his head, but I feel like he is going to forgive me.

It was quite the experience. Already both of my parents have given me a hard time about being too protective, even though my Mom never would have left her dog there. The thing is, I'm certain Hank would have had a heart attack if I had left him at that place, and I just couldn't do it. Zack got it. The animal lovers who read this will get it. Anyone who has ever seen me with Hank will at least not be surprised.

Sigh. I did the right thing.

Anyway, on today's agenda we have brush Hank until he wont allow me to anymore, and pack more of our stuff.

I know that was long folks, I was venting. Thanks for reading =]

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Taking The Bad With The Good

I am in a fantastic mood today, considering.

Considering my house is more than likely going to be under 3 to 4 feet of standing water by the end of the month, and I am being forced to pack all of my most important worldly belongings. I am feeling confident that I'm going to be able to get out all of the things that really matter to Zack and I, as well as most of the stuff that doesn't. If my house is unlivable, which it will obviously be if it floods even a little, I have a place to go that I can take my Hank and Lucy, and all of our stuff, for free. Which is exciting since I will still get my housing allowance, and I will have enough money to replace any necessities that I may not move.

This is all fantastic news.

However, I am super excited because today was my second weigh in with Weight Watchers. I have officially been on "the plan" for 2 full weeks and I have already lost 7.4 pounds! Woot! I received my 5 pound weight loss milestone today and I am thrilled. I have also lost multiple inches. I am elated. I can't believe how easy this is. I can't believe how close I am to my first goal, it is insane. At this rate I will reach my goal weight well before Zack gets home. I just need to stay motivated, and I really don't think that's going to be a problem.

I am already looking at cute little outfits to wear to pick Zack up from the airport. It's so exciting.

I know 7.4 pounds doesn't seem like much in 2 weeks, but this isn't really a diet, it's the way I will learn to eat for the rest of my life. People on weight watchers generally lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. I have a total of 50 weeks since I started Weight Watchers to the time Zack gets home, 1 or 2 pounds a week works pretty perfectly since I'm not trying to lose 100 pounds.

That was exactly what I needed to get me out of my funk. I have been pretty sad lately. But today I feel good. Even though I still miss Zackery like crazy.

I HATE packing and moving though. I have always hated it. It always feels messy and unorganized. So in that arena, I could definitely use some motivation. It is not fun.

I'm being told if it floods even a little bit they will shut off the power to our area. Since it is almost a certainty that it will flood at least a little bit I feel like I should start moving my stuff as soon as possible so that I don't end up moving stuff, especially big stuff, from my house in the 10 zillion degree heat.

Because the heat here is not playing around. It is as hot here this week as it is in Bahrain. It's insane. Anyone who has ever moved or helped someone move, knows that the only thing worse than moving someone in the middle of the subzero temp winter, is moving someone in the middle of the my skin is cooking temps in the summer. So, It's sort of a hurry up and wait game now. Good thing I'm so used to that.

So, there's that.

I want to briefly mention to all of you how bummed I was this morning, however.
WAIT! It's not what you think.
This morning I wanted to donate Lucy's old litter box to the animal shelter, because I just got a sweet new one that requires minimal poop touching. I got there a little early and while I was sitting in the parking lot I saw a family, with their 2 small children in the car, bringing their cat and kittens to be dropped off.
It is kitten season and the shelter is PACKED with homeless cats and kittens. If you bring your cat in with it's kittens right now you should feel confident that at least half of them will not make it out. They're just too full. So don't be an ass and take your cat and kittens to the shelter. Spay and Neuter your animals, first and foremost. But if you're too lazy and irresponsible to do that, at the very least, it is your responsibility to take care of your family pets offspring, and make sure they all have loving and responsible homes to go to.
How can someone take their pet to the pound like they're returning a library book? I can't understand it. Lucy is psychotic. She is rarely a joy to be around. She is mean to everyone besides Zack and I, and really that's only if she's having a good day. She believes, firmly, that her mission in life is to attack and kill everything in our home. Even on her very worst day, I have never seriously considered taking her to the pound. Because she's my responsibility. Zack and I adopted her and I owe it to her to stick it out no matter how psychotic she turned out to be, and love her even if she will only let me pet her 2 or 3 times a day.

Lucy helping me pack.

So don't be stupid.
It breaks my heart.