One Month Downski

I can't believe it's been a month.... since I shaved my legs.

Just kidding.

I've shaved my legs at least once in there somewhere.

A month of barely sleeping. A month of never being more than 2 feet away from my phone. A month of missing my husband with my whole heart.

Let me tell you  something super sappy i've learned.

I've learned that I am absolutely crazy about my husband. I love him more than I even knew before he left, and even then people were annoyed by how much we loved each other.
Like that song "I thought I loved you then", I know that's totally cheesy, but seriously. It is so true.

The day I married Zack I remember thinking "This is the best day. My heart is so full of love for this man. I have never felt anything like this before. This is it. This love is what everyone looks for." Then on our one month anniversary I thought, "This is the love everyone looks for, I can't believe how much more I love him than I did just a month ago. My heart is so full. I am so happy." Then on our one year anniversary, just a little over a month ago, fearing this deployment could damage our relationship, I made a mental note "Molly, remember how much you love your husband at this moment. Your heart is so full. You are so blissfully happy. You are so lucky. This love, is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Never let your love for him be any less than it is at this very moment. He loves you so much. You are so lucky.". Little did I know...

Then here we are today. One month since he left. One year, one month, and 3 days since we got married. I am so overwhelmed with how much I feel for Zack. I can't believe how speaking to him changes my mood and my day. I can't believe the way my body physically aches to be close to him. It's amazing to me that even with everything going on and all the things that suck about this I can still step back, even if just for a moment, and realize how lucky I am to have a love like ours.

I know, sappy Sally. But, seriously, I can't get over it. I'm so in love with my husband.

I never thought I would be one of those women who is this proud of their husband. I am one of those people who has I Love My Sailor magnets on their car. I search the internet for the most perfect custom "Proud Navy Wife" decal for my brand new car. I want to shake the hands of random service members, they feel like brothers of my husband. I want to hug their wives, and tell them how strong and amazing they are.

All because I am so over-the-top in love with, and proud of, my husband.
I will work really hard to remember how this feels. How it feels right now to be sitting in our house by myself while he sleeps thousands of miles away. I'll remember and work hard to never take a moment with him for granted. I can't wait to appreciate his dirty socks everywhere.

Of course I've learned a lot since he left about us, and communicating, and our relationship. What's important to tell him and what isn't. But we're getting the hang of it. Even though it is totally suckful, we're going to get through this.

We are lucky and blessed.

I can't wait to be that close to him again =]

***It's easier than ever to comment on these posts! Please leave a comment =]***

Naked Skype Chatting

(This blog entry's original post date is May 11th... however my blog is obsessed with this post for some reason, and occasionally reposts it as a new post without my permission... sorry about that...)

By accident... of course.

I am a very anxious person. I worry a lot. I am very nervous about all of this, as to be expected, and I had a very long night.
Hint- Don't watch international flight tracking.

As my frequent blog readers know, I am quite the little bath taker. When I get nervous (bored, tired, sleepy, hot, cold... anything really) I take a bath, and facebook stalk on my cellular. Yes, even though I have a brand new cell phone (a Thunderbolt actually, it rocks by the way).

Anyway.

This morning around 3am, since I'm not sleeping, I decided to take a bath. I knew Zack was in the airport waiting for his flight to Bahrain and that he could be calling or skyping me soon, but I also thought it might be a while, which is why I decided to take a bath.

I definitely didn't want to miss a skype call or a phone call so I decided to prop my laptop up on the toilet- easily reachable from the tub- just in case my cell phone didn't get the skype call for whatever reason.

Well, as I'm sure you've guessed. About 5 minutes after sinking into a flaming hot bubble bath, I got a skype call on my laptop. Which I immediately answered naked in the bath tub.

Skype is so fantastic

He was in a starbucks.
Eh, whatever.
I'm just so glad I got to see his face.
I miss him so much.

He will be done traveling FINALLY this evening. I'm hoping to hear from him shortly after he lands. Then I hope to sleep for a very long time.
I will be so relieved when he is done traveling and I know he is safe and ok.
I miss him so much.

I miss him so, so, much.

He is well by the way. He was happy to see his naked wife and his sweet Hank and Lucy. We are both very sad, and having a hard time adjusting. But it's only been a few days, and we are both very, very, tired. We will be ok.

I am so lucky I have him to miss.

Oh and, in true Zackery style, he skype introduced me, while naked in the bathtub, to his new barista friend. Hahahaha. Whatever. He could only see to my naked shoulders. Poor guy.

I've Got... Readers... In Different Area Codes

Let me show you all something super cool.

United States 864

Canada 51

South Korea 47

India 18

United Arab Emirates 10

Russia 5

Slovenia 5

Germany 4

Denmark 4

Bahrain 4

When you blog, at least on blogger, you can see all sorts of really cool statistics about where your readers are from, what posts they're reading, how they got to your blog and etc. Above is my audience from the last month. 864 readers in the United states in a month, is enough to be pretty excited about. I think it's pretty cool anyway. I wont lie though, it's pretty crazy for me to think about people in other countries reading about my craziness.
Most of my readers are military wives and girlfriends, and that's pretty sweet. We're a cool group, and we're all over the world. It's safe to assume a lot of my foreign readers are the women who make sure our husbands are awake on time to go save the world.
Even though I mention Bahrain pretty frequently, it's safe to say my Bahrain readers are all Zack's friend Brian who is currently stationed there.
It's like having pen pals all over the world.

This means when the husband goes to Bahrain I can see whether or not he's reading my ramblings. It's important that he does.

Speaking of Zack. He is on base doing some out processing paper work. It makes me a little ill I won't lie. I hate the idea of him processing out of Offutt. I like our lives here. Because we are here. Here, we are still a we. We go do things.
This morning (at an unreasonably early 7am) Zack was upset with me because I didn't want to get up and rush around to get ready to go to the dentist with him. I kept asking him, from bed, why he wanted me to go and he absolutely broke my heart when he said "because we do everything together. We're lovers. We're buddies. We're best friends." But by then, it was too late for me to go. So I stayed home and felt guilty about not going, and about sleeping so well after he left with only Hank in bed.
Blech.
He did it on purpose, I'm sure. And the dentist gave him a fat lip.

Welp. That's about all there is for today, kiddos. In the spirit of my worldly readership, leave a comment and let me know where you're from!

xoxo

All You Can Eat

I can not get enough of my husband lately. To the point that I may be driving him crazy. When he's awake everything's fine and when he's not at work everything is fine. I like him at a normal level. Like a normal person. But when he's sleeping or at work, I can't seem to tell him I love him enough. At least 20 times a day I have to go and bother kiss him while he's sleeping. I just know that my days are numbered with him before Bahrain. So if I think about kissing him or squeezing him even for a second. I do it. I just do. It doesn't matter what I'm doing.
I'm going to miss him so much.
What will I do without my all I can eat hugs??

Ugh. Anyways.

I've lost my keys. We rarely drive my car since it had 6 miles on it when I got it and I met Zack a month after that, and suddenly it has almost 20,000 miles on it less than 2 years later. Since I haven't been in my car since last Wednesday when Linny and I got sushi, your guess is as good as mine as to where they are. (Seriously, where do you think they are??) Since then, I have locked myself out of the house TWICE. Both times with Sam and Chelsea. Even after locking myself out twice, I didn't realize until yesterday that I have no earthly idea where they may be. This presents several problems.
The first being that there is no food in my house. Zack has a spare key to my car, so if I would just remember to get it from him before he leaves for work I could go buy groceries. But I don't remember. And I'm a terrible grocery shopper.

Not impossible.

So I'm cutting this post short, because ladies and gentleman, I am on a mission. I will find these keys. I'm going to go buy groceries and belly casting supplies. My cousin has graciously agreed to allow me to experiment with belly casting on her prego belly so that when I am a certified Doula, I can add belly casting to my services. I'm super excited to try it, and fairly confident that I will be amazing at it. I'll post pictures when it's done.

Okey Doke! Wish me luck!!

Ready Or Not

What a year it's been. I decided to do one of those "My year in random facebook photo's from this year" apps on facebook. Just a little rearranging and here's a little bit of the big moments from 2010. 

The first grainy picture where I look like I haven't seen the sun in months, was at the superbowl party where Zack met most of my Dad's side of the family for the first time. It's also the night he told most of them he was going to propose to me one day. 

The second picture is from when we got married but I put it there to symbolize how he proposed a month later on Feb 21st. It was one of the most exciting days of my life so far. 

The third picture is of my baby, Hank, with a sign that says I miss you. That makes me smile because our house/dog sitter sent it to me when we went on vacation in March-April to Indiana for 3 weeks so I could meet Zack's family before we got married. I love them so much and I'm so glad we went.

The fourth picture is Zack, Me and Kenzie, our niece. This was from the first night we were there, we all went to a mexican restaurant to eat. I was nervous for about 2 minutes. I was always supposed to be in their family. They made me feel welcome, like one of them, from the moment I got there. I love them so much =)

The fifth picture is Zack and I getting ready to go to a wedding in Indiana for one of his cousins, we had so much fun. The whole trip was really amazing. I am so lucky to be a part of their family. 

The sixth terrible quality snapshot is me with T at my bachelorette party, at the end of April. I was ... hammered... as they say. ha. To the point where there are pictures of me standing against a wall by myself repeatedly blowing my penis whistle and singing to myself. I looked hot that night but those pictures just look like I was massacred drunk. And I was.  

The seventh and eighth pictures are from the best day of this year, the day I became a Williams, the day I married my heart, my hero, my best friend.. aww sigh. May 7th. It was such a good day. The ninth picture is from the bar we went to afterwards to knock a few back. I never said we were classy =)

The tenth and eleventh pictures are from a vacation to lake Okoboji we took with my family in September. I love being with Zack and my family, or his family, because it feels like we were all supposed to be together. I belong with Zack's fam, and he belongs with mine. It's really the strangest most delightful feeling, and one I'd never experienced before Zack. 

The next (12th) picture is of Zack in our driveway before starting our 5th long road trip together in less than 8 months. We were on our way to Chicago, in September, to see my friend Pat, and to see our friends Nick and Heather get married (and Zack was in their wedding). We love Pat, Nick, and Heather, so the ride was tolerable. We also got to surprise Zack's mom and step-dad and sweet sister (they all cried =) ) in Indiana for a day or two, and see our new baby nephew Max. He and Kenzie are the cutest kids alive. 

The thirteenth picture is of our new baby Lucy who is such a pain in the ass  joy. We love her so very much and even though she makes me want to throw her outside to fend for herself pull my hair out, on occasion, I can not imagine our lives without her. She's usually very sweet, and too cute for words.

The fourteenth picture is from a day I'd been waiting for since I met Zack, and definitely since I married him. His 21st birthday. It was a success, in that he was puking in the parking lot and the bouncer didn't want to let him back in the bar by the end of the night. We all had fun.

The next picture is both our babies, my little loves, snuggling together on the couch. Until we make a beeb I will continue to love them at an unhealthy level. Also, Lucy has a Christmas sweater on in that picture. Don't judge me.

And the last picture is my current fav of us, at Christmas. I sure do love that Sailor.

2010 was a good year for me. The best yet, I could say. So I'm sad to see it go. 

Goodbye 2010, my friend, thanks for everything. I'll never forget you =)

And a toast for those of you getting crazy tonight--

If the ocean were vodka and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean's not vodka and I'm not a duck, so pass me the bottle and shut the hell up=)

Happy New Year err'body!

So, You Think You Want To Marry A Sailor? Part I

Recently a few of my friends have said silly things to me about how they would love to date someone in the Navy/Military, and I feel this needs to be addressed my little tag chasers. Being married to someone who is married to the military is not all Christmas parties, and halloween parties, and moving fun places, and awesome benefits, etc. Although, there is a lot about it that's fun, a lot about claiming a sailor/soldier/airmen/marine is pretty suckful.

So this post will be dedicated to a few things I've learned and things I wish I'd known, I'm certain I would have made the same decisions I've made as far as my relationship is concerned it would have been nice to be prepared with this info.

Sailors know how to partay.

That's pretty much the jist of it. Sailors drink and party like... sailors. They're loud, and obscene, and they're frequently naked for reasons unknown, but they are fun. And that makes command parties a good time. Recently I saw a bunch of drunken sailors sing and dance to "I'm on a boat", it was absolutely hysterical. This is a definite pro, Zack and friends are very entertaining.

Nick and Zack at the command Christmas Party

Pride.

This is a given. There's nothing like being seen with a man in uniform, sigh. Plus, they're so sexy.

Hooyah Navy!



BAH does not happen immediately.

BAH or basic allowance for housing, does not come right after you get married. BAH pays your rent, and that rocks. However, when we first got married we already basically lived together and were managing to pay rent with my unemployment. We did however have to eat a lot of ramen. When we got married we were sort of counting on our housing allowance to kick in... it didn't happen on the first check... then it didnt happen on the second.... or the third...

A lot of paperwork has to be done and by that point Zack had no idea what the problem was. It finally came down to making sure the paperwork was completed and re-completed that he had indeed checked out of the barracks.

To check out of the barracks we had to clean, like really really clean his room and have it checked by the dorm manager. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries, and it's kind of a pain in the ass.

When we did finally get our BAH the check was massivo because we got back BAH, which totally rocked. But the months of barely getting by were very frustrating. When most girls marry someone in the military it involves moving across the country or at the very least far enough away that they have to quit their jobs. A friend of ours has been married since September and moved his wife quit her job and moved here from Chicago and they haven't received BAH yet. 

BAH is not something I will frequently complain about. The fact that the military is making sure we don't have to worry about paying our rent is allowing me to stay unemployed temporarily and spend this time with my husband. It is a benefit that is pretty sweet. Will put this in the pros column, but the waiting is rough.  



Being a dependant is weird.

I am classified as Zack's dependant. I have a dependant ID, so that I can see doctors or get on base without much hassle. To get it however Zack basically has to agree that I am his wife, and he is responsible and in some ways in charge of me. For those of you that know me, you know how I feel about people being the boss of me. It's difficult for me to fathom that while I am on base, I am a reflection of my husband and things I do could get him in trouble. Which makes me very nervous. I don't even like to go to the commissary because I'm concerned I'll cart crash the commander's wife or something. There are a lot of rules.

Follow the rules, or go home.

While it's frustrating to have a few rules to follow as dependents, don't speed, try not to look like a homeless person, be classy, don't embarass yourself and your husband, etc., being directly accountable to the military as a Sailor/Soldier/Airmen/Marine is much much more difficult. Zack has lots of rules he has to follow that I definitely couldn't. I'll name a couple...

Let's start with 6 ring stand-by. This means that Zack has to answer his phone within 6 rings of someone calling him any time of the day or night and be sober and ready to go save the world. Granted this is something that happens once in a blue moon, when it happens it's a little bit of a hassle. I can never find my phone. If I was on 6 ring stand-by I would be that dorky guy at the mall with the great big plastic belt clip for my phone on the side of my pants. It takes me 2 rings to identify and understand my phone is ringing and an additional 5 rings to find a phone in my purse. Bad news. Trouble.

Here's the kicker, the one that I'd definitely just fail at, is the PRT test. You know what this means ladies? This means they will tell you if you weigh too much, not only tell you but kick you out if you fail to fix it. Holy goodness. I'm so upset just thinking about this I ate half a pint of ice cream. I'd die.



Nothing is ever for sure, until it's happening.

If you read blog at all when I first started you know that Zack going to Bahrain without me is definitely not what we thought was going to happen. At one point we even had orders to Virginia, or at least we thought we did. This one is hard, it's very frustrating to not know for sure, and to not be able to plan. It also allows you false hope that maybe something won't happen, ie deployments, dependant restricted duty etc.



Hurry up and wait.

Again, if you've read any of the blog posts from the beginning you know about hurry up and wait. It's constant. Get ready, fill out paperwork, be prepared, fill out more paperwork, wait.... it's like that annoying kid who starts the playground race that says READY... Seeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttt........... SEEEETTTTTTTT........SSSSSSSEEEEEEETTTTTTT..... SET......
Annoying.

Put on your big girl panties, you knew what you signed up for marrying him, it's just a year, suck it up, and other annoying things stupid people say.

These are all things civilians, and sometimes even other heartless mil wives, say to you that make you want to kick puppies. Never say these things to me if you expect to remain unharmed.
I don't wear panties, and I'll cut you.
I didn't sign up for anything, except marrying him and I'm pretty sure God and Zack have some sort of contract there because I never ever thought I'd end up with someone in the military. HE signed up for this, and I love him so I got dragged along. Shut it, or I will punch you in the throat.
It's just a year, suck it up. It's just a year?! Please tell me the last time you were ever away from your husband for a year? Oh, never? I thought so, or you probably wouldn't be so insensitive. And I can't suck it up because I actually like my husband. Excuse me. Dicks.

Avoid the drama.

Military wives get a bad name when it comes to drama. The stereotype is that they all sit at home and talk about each other, and that's not really true. Most of the military wives I have met are legitimately good people, moms, and wives. They are a sisterhood, and an extremely welcoming community. They don't all cheat. They don't all gossip... But some do. And those women should be avoided at all costs. They're horrendous.

And, finally.

No one can love you the way a man with a deployment or dependant restricted duty in the foreseeable future can.

That's all.

Well that was fun =)

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty
-noun

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated. 


In December of 2008, I made an incredible decision for myself. One that I should have made, long LONG before that. I left my ex. Well actually he left. Went missing in fact. But I decided that was it, and when he came back, like he always did, I would not be there for him to bother. I had been with him since a couple months before I graduated high school, and had only ever lived with him or my parents. It was time to be on my own, and I was so excited.
I found a new house. I moved Hank and I there.. OK, my brother and his friends moved Hank and I there, and I started my new life.

Molly & Hank

I was pretty distraught for a while. I wont lie. It was a pretty miserable time for me, but I was still relieved and excited to start a new chapter.
I spent about 3 months making a lot of decisions for myself. I'm going to be single for a year. I'm going to stay out all night. I'm going to kiss boys I barely know (I didn't say they were good decisions). I'm going to date as many guys as I want. I'm going to go out with every single guy that asks me out. I'm going to be single, no attachments, for one whole year. That was the most important. I didn't know me. I wanted to meet me, and I didn't want to deal with a relationship for 12 whole months.
During that time (those first few months by myself), while I sat at home making these decisions, I wasn't really acting on any of them. I went to work, I came home and played with Hank, watched TV, went out occasionally, but really I wasn't doing anything to keep those promises to yours truly. And then something amazing happened.
Enter: Haley Corbin. Haley moved in with me, and saved me. Haley was the next step on my road to happiness, and although I don't remember a lot about my year living with her, I remember enough to know I owe her.
Haley made me go out with her. Every single night. For about 4 weeks after she moved in. I was hungover and late for work for 4 weeks. I also put makeup on and did my hair, for 4 weeks. It was kind of a big deal. I have never been drunker with anyone else. Haley is amazing.

Hay returning our beer cans, making a 

small fortune from alcoholism.

After I started going out again all of the time, and having people over all the time, and lost my job, which sounds like a direct consequence of Haley moving in, but actually I was laid off, I started getting unemployment and while looking for a job I needed something else to do with my time so that I had some responsibility to something and didn't die of alcohol poisoning, and, I started volunteering at the Animal Shelter in Council Bluffs.
I loved every Saturday with SOLAS and loved going there during the week to walk dogs. I was constantly meeting new people. Good people. The kind of people I needed in my life. Not that the random boys (and crazy old guys) Traci and I were going out with every weekend weren't good people, they paid, and we liked them that. I just needed people who liked to volunteer and give back and play with dogs, in my life apparently. Because it made me so happy, and I hadn't been, like that, in a very long time.
So for the entire summer, and most of the fall, I went out with Haley during the week. I went out with boys and Traci, on the weekends. And most of my days, definitely my Saturday days, were spent with mutts and fantastic, fabulous older women, at the animal shelter or Petsmart.
Then one Saturday, at the beginning of fall, when I drove up to the shelter there were boys waiting to help volunteer. So, naturally, when I saw the volunteer coordinator Mary, I asked her about them and she told me they were military boys, from Offutt. Instantly I was interested. I texted Haley. She felt the same.
Enter: Douglas Siegmund. On Halloween I was volunteering with Doug and another "Navy Boy", as Haley and I referred to them, at Petsmart, and she brought Hank to see me in his Halloween costume.

Hay sent me this picture on her way to

Petsmart that day.

The next part is sort of... well, none of my business, but essentially Haley and Doug made plans for Doug and friends to come to our place for beer pong, the next night. And so he came. And he brought 2 loud, drunk, annoying, obnoxious, attractive, Sailors with him. Zack and Holly.
The next day when I talked to Doug, I told him that if he didn't bring those guys over again, that would be ok. Because they were irritating. And so, so, loud. :)
Doug was house sitting for one of the ladies from the shelter, and watching her many dogs. She was super cool to Doug, and told him it would be OK if we all came over to hang out there while he was house-sitting. So we did, and in those 3 days, I fell for one of those loud, drunk, annoying, obnoxious, attractive Sailors. A lot of you have heard the chapstick story about our first kiss, that happened house sitting at Monica's. The first time I heard Zack sing was at Monica's. Those two moments pretty much sealed my fate, although at the time I had no idea. I still was very sure I had no long term interests in Zackery.
The next several months the 5 of us, Zack, Holly, Doug, Haley and I, spent drinking and cuddling and playing at our house. Trying to stay warm in the craziest snow season I've ever seen. We spent all of our off time together. From November to March. It was probably the most fun I've had.
But, eventually, Haley was sucked in to the dark side, and pulled away from us by a total douche. And the 4 of us hung out, pretty much nonstop until Holly met a girl and was suddenly very busy all of the time. And then Doug went home and met a girl and was equally busy skyping and etc. And then there were 2.
Even though Zack and I had officially started dating in January, when he told my family at a superbowl party in February, he would marry me one day I was totally caught off guard and elated. I couldn't wait.

My favorite sailors at the SuperBowl party 

Zack told my family he would marry me at.

Then he proposed. But that's another story for another day kiddies.
I really need to start getting all of these details down, and what way better than this?
Anyway, that's why if you ask me or my Zack how we ended up together, that is why we will tell you serendipity.
Because almost exactly 11 months, to the date, I said I wanted to be single for a year, I met Zack. Just over 14 months after I made that promise to myself, I was crying in Spaghetti Works showing everyone my ring. Now I get to spend the rest of my life with that loud, loud, sailor.
Sometimes when you're looking for one thing, if you allow yourself to, you'll find a much better thing. Thank God I did =)

The day I became Mrs. Williams

ser·en·dip·i·ty
-noun

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated.