Naked Hank

I expected this post to be a lot more exciting, haha. He actually doesn't look bad.
I really thought he would look naked. I was told since he has pink skin he would have to be sunscreened efficiently everytime he went outside.
Except his hair is stupidly thick. It has been since he was an adorable baby puppy.

He is also just unbelievably cute, as you saw last week with my Hank filled post. I should have known he would remain that way even naked...

Really, you can barely tell. You can't even tell he has pink skin. The lady who shaved him said she couldn't believe how much hair came off of him. Ha, tell me about it.

He's adorable. He just looks skinny now. Speaking of that, he's not NEARLY as overweight as everyone was telling me he was.

I knew it.

He's much cooler now =]

I think it's a good fit for him!

Walmart

I went to walmart today. I am not a fan of walmart. I like to get in and get out. As fast as possible.

Today I saw someone at walmart I know vaguely from high school and facebook. She stopped me. Not a polite smile, not a wave, she stopped me. I didn't like where this was going, but I was polite.

I am a firm believer in being kind.

You never know what kind of a day someone is having, or what kind of place they're at in their lives.

I guess I just know that if someone who I vaguely know is stopping me in walmart to make conversation, she probably really needs someone to talk to, or she thinks I do.

This person told me she had just found out she was pregnant, again.

I went through my mental roll-o-dex to check the facts. Did I know this already? If it was on facebook, surely I would have seen it. Nope, I didn't know. How many kids does she already have? 2. Isn't she always complaining about them and how her boyfriend is physically and verbally abusive on facebook? Oh, yes.
This is why I didn't know this person was pregnant, she is facebook hidden.

I love hiding people. I don't have to worry about their children if I don't have to read about how they're "guna get a whoopin if they don't stop bein NOTTY" (actual status of this person).

Do you ever have the sudden urge to tell someone you barely know that you would be happy to adopt their unborn child? Just me? Well, whatever.

I hurried from the conversation. She offered nothing else. She was excited for the baby and "kicked out that liar" who I assumed was the abusive boyfriend. I'll pray for them and hope for the best.

I doubt she's reading this, but if you are- I didn't mean to offend you, and honestly I would adopt any of the three of your kids in a heart beat. Let me know.

I honestly do try hard not to judge people, but I feel like I have enough info there to know we couldn't be friends.

After my encounter with the reason I rarely shop where I might see someone I know, I continued with my shopping.

Let me precede the next story with this fact, I love red grapes. Green ones are sour and gross and I don't know why people would choose them over red.

Yummo

This walmart is ALWAYS out of red grapes.

Do you ever have that moment when someone who is clearly without all of their mental faculties, or even TOTALLY out of their mind, is saying what you are thinking but would never say?

For example, one time things were moving slowly at the zoo and we were stuck with 100 other sweaty stinky people waddling through that hot dark tunnel in the rainforest. My mom was freaking out. When out of nowhere this perfectly nice mentally handicapped gentleman started shouting "ALRIGHT, HURRY UP! I'M GONNA FREAKOUT! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! I'M HOT! HURRY UP!". My mom said he was speaking her inner monologue.

Today walmart was out of crunchy delicious red grapes. I was disappointed. This day was not going well.

When suddenly, I had to check to make sure I still had a hold on things, was that me yelling?

I turned around to find this meth head SCREAMING at an employee "WHY ARE THERE NEVER ANY RED GRAPES?! I NEED THEM. I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER! I NEED THE EXPLETIVE RED GRAPES! EVERY TIME I'M HERE YOU EXPLETIVES ARE OUT OF THEM!".

I was cracking up. I wanted to say "Yeah, I'm with crazy! Where are the expletive red grapes?" But I didn't. I grabbed a bag of icky green ones and I shuffled away trying not to laugh.

Sigh, walmart. At least it wasn't night time. It wasn't totally packed.

Tomorrow my little Hank is having his hair shaved! I am nervous, but this place is a lot nicer and therefore less stressful for me. I am finding that he is less stressed if he is tired, and the place he's getting groomed at is about 23 blocks from our house, which is what I've been walking with him. So I'm going to drive my car down there and leave it. Then walk home, get Hank and walk him back to the groomer. That way he is tired and it will be less stressful for him to be groomed.

He's been sort of achey after we walk. He's good the next day, but for the day after we walk he has a hard time getting up after he is laying down. It's still easy for him to run around the yard with the neighbors dog, but getting up from a nap is rough. I guess I need to make an appointment with his vet to make sure walking him isn't detrimental.

My google vet skills say it's just because he's out of shape, and that he will get used to it and be ok. That this is good for him. It's still hard to see him sore. I supposed I'll buy a supplement. He's only 5.

I'm excited to post pictures of his new 'do! I'm sure it will be comical if nothing else.

Welp I suppose that's all for today boys and girls.
XOXOXOX

Yep. I'm That Girl. Poor Hank.

Today I cried in the dog groomer and couldn't leave Hank there to be groomed.

Don't judge me. Let me explain.

Hank desperately needs to be groomed. He sheds year round enough to drive any pet owner completely out of their mind. And twice a year he "blows coat" which isn't what you think... gross... he basically molts. HUGE handfuls of hair just fall off of his body. It's disgusting. I however, love him so much I barely notice until someone else says something or I'm wearing something nice, and black.

I'm talking pay a large ransom love.

Who wouldn't love that sweet face??

Hank has been through a lot with me. He was a gift from my ex, and one of the only good things that came from that relationship. He was with me when I was embarassed because everyone was talking, before and after the break up. He was with me at my parents house between houses, when I cried myself to sleep, because I wasted so much time. He sat with me in the bathroom all the nights Haley lived with me, when I was too drunk to make it to my bedroom. He met and vetted lots of guys before Zack. He has been there through all the big moments of my life the last 5 years, the most important of which was meeting and falling in love with my sweet Zackery. He was my first clue Zack was the one for us.

Hank was at the bottom of the pile during the chapstick story.

Zack loves Hank.

He picked up Hank poop in the front yard, he loved Hank and played with him, and most of all he rarely- if ever- complained about the ridiculous amounts of Hank hair. But also, it turned out, Zack and Hank were already related.

When I got Hank, he was a sweet little 10 pound ball of white fur. The cutest little puppy I've ever seen. I am struggling to find a puppy picture, but I'll put one up eventually. He was silent and slept for the first 48 hours after we brought him home from the pound. I named him Hank because I love country music and I like people names for dogs. So we named him Hank after Hank Williams.

Zackery's last name is also Williams.

Hero: Zackery Williams-- See?

Which makes it fun to call and make appointments for Hank Williams. People always laugh and think I'm one of those people who names their dog a name like that since Williams is my last name. I'm not. He had my last name for 4 years, first. But it's still pretty funny.

Anyway.

Hank is my favorite. I love him so much. I would never ever put him in a situation we were not both 100% confident about. He loves Barb's Best Friends doggy daycare, and he's very social. He hates the vet, but it's a necessity, and I would never ever leave him there without me. I want him to feel confident that I will keep him safe, because he has helped me get through some pretty terrible parts of my life, and I owe that to him. Hank is more than my dog, he is my friend, and he is my baby. I am that girl.

Hank loves the water, so in the past when he has just been bathed at the groomer I am confident that he isn't scared, and I feel like I can leave him there. He loves people, and anytime people are paying attention to him he's happy as could be.

Here's Hank loving Haley after a dip in Manawa

This time was different, because our house is in the flood zone, and we are more than likely going to have to move in with my parents for at least a little while. Since my parents think that sheddy dogs live outside, and Hank and I have a very different opinion on the subject, I decided that I would get him shaved into the lion cut this year so that he can habitate the indoors right by my side where he belongs. Plus he has terrible allergies and someone suggested that the cut might help him to attract less allergens... I'm not sure about that but I'm willing to give it a try. Also, It's hot as the sun where we live in the summer, and he gets miserable unless he is in the lake. So even though he has a beautiful, double coat, I decided it was our only option. Even though I was feeling a lot of guilt about it.

Look how cute that baby is?!

So here we are today. I made an appointment a couple of days ago at the one place that wasn't going to charge us $80.00 or more. Today at 11 was his appointment, and we got there about 10:55. As we drove up I was immediately concerned. The building was a house. In a completely residential area, and it was not a very nice house, I could tell from the outside. There were kennels outside because the place is a doggy daycare also, which is concerning since to be groomed there they do not require the Kennel Cough Vaccine. There was a sign outside that said "Puppies For Sale In July" and nothing makes me angrier than people breeding puppies for cash when the shelters are FULL.

Don't get me started.

Hank and I parked and walked towards the house. He was stoked. He loves to visit people, he's always excited. As soon as I opened the door to their screened in porch, the stench of cigarette smoke hit me. Super professional. What did I expect?

Despite my better judgement we kept walking in and as soon as Hank smelled the entry rug (which probably smelled like nervous animals) he immediately got nervous and his ears went down and he hunched as close to the ground as possible. He trusts me though, and he kept walking in with me. Hank and I have went to parties at much grosser places.

The receptionist greeted us and made a Hank Williams joke, as she would. I gave her Hanks shot records and out of nowhere, this LOUD and seemingly vicious dog bark came out of the back of the house. Hank bolted for the door. He is a lover not a fighter. He was scared, and all I could think of was he really needs his haircut... he really needs it, and I'll wait outside in my car the 3 hours it takes, I'll pick him up as soon as he's done. This will be fine. He's ok.

He was not ok.

After a minute we walked to the back of the house to put him in a pin to wait for his turn to be groomed. There were several dogs pinned in the back for "day care" (Barbs Best Friends is doggy daycare, not pins) and the receptionist slid a plastic tray under a big pin RIGHT NEXT to the dog who was WIGGING OUT. Hank was not having it. He kept looking at me like "Are you on drugs? You must be on drugs." He was so scared. I have terrible guilt for not leaving right then. The other dog was banging against the side of her pin trying to get to Hank. I forgot to mention, I also had a very rough, scream at the top of your lungs "I WANT MY HUSBAND BACK", type of night, and I was exhausted and as such very emotional. So, I started to cry. Not sobbing, but like sad movie crying. Silent crying, but there were definitely tears.

Yep. Get the visual. I'm not even embarassed. I was having a moment. Don't judge me.

The receptionist sort of paniced at this point. She could tell we were both pretty distressed (haha). What she did next though, made me go put Hank back in the car.
Hank is a German Shepherd mix. Anyone who works with dogs knows that particular breed frequently have hip joint issues, and Hank definitely does. This bitch got on her knees, leaned forward and grabbed my BABY by his front legs and tried to pull him into the pin. I, terrets style, loudly blurted out "STOP!" and yanked the leash away from her and started walking towards the door. No one manhandles my baby.

I was trying to continue to be nice, because I knew if I lost my temper the police were likely to attend our consultation. My rage, however, was boiling to that point and I felt like it was probably time to rush out of there. She said she would reschedule me an appointment when there would be less dogs in there, and I smiled politely and walked to my car. Where I sat and hugged my Hank and apologized over and over. Poor dude.

I drove him to another groomer, where my mom takes her dog, that was more expensive (still not terrible) but someone I trust and took Hank in to make an appointment. Like I should have done the first time. I'm a loser.

He's going next week, and I will let all of you know how that goes. In the mean time if you live in this area, and need a fun and safe place to take your dog for daycare or boarding stick with Barb's Best friends.

I told the other groomer how horrified I was by the whole experience and they promised me they would be good to him and I could stay the whole time if I wanted. Hank even liked being in the building and was excited to see all of the other dogs casually walking around in there.

So, I am feeling like the worlds worst dog mom. I took Hank to McDonalds to get him chicken nuggets and an ice cream cone. He was still nervous and his usually perky adorable ears were still glued to the side of his head, but I feel like he is going to forgive me.

It was quite the experience. Already both of my parents have given me a hard time about being too protective, even though my Mom never would have left her dog there. The thing is, I'm certain Hank would have had a heart attack if I had left him at that place, and I just couldn't do it. Zack got it. The animal lovers who read this will get it. Anyone who has ever seen me with Hank will at least not be surprised.

Sigh. I did the right thing.

Anyway, on today's agenda we have brush Hank until he wont allow me to anymore, and pack more of our stuff.

I know that was long folks, I was venting. Thanks for reading =]
XOXOXO

Security

Alright. I had about 3000 super sad negative things to write about today. But I've stifled them. Instead I've decided to blog about how everyone keeps telling me I should worry about my impending house invasion and consequent attack while Zack is in Bahrain.
Here's the thing, I've lived by myself before. I have a big dog. A big 90 pound german shepherd mix, with big teeth. Hank. Scary right?
Wrong.
Does this look like a scary animal to you?

Holly and Hank Sleeping

Hank and Zack kissing

Doug and Hank Sleeping

He's the sweetest baby in the world 99.8% of the time. Unless you're a bunny, you're traveling down the street on a motorized wheel chair, you have a jimmy johns sandwich in your hand, you're hitting me, or you move to quickly and are not... um... caucasian... (he's a racist. I apologize. We've talked about it. He's working on it.) you're Hank's bestie. He loves everyone. He has a little bit of a nervous licking habit and will lick your hands off, or your face if you're close enough. And my little cousin Zach will testify that if you are sitting in the front seat of my car, he will ignore that you exist.

Exhibit A

He's a marshmellow.

Aside from one instance where Linny approached my door in the middle of the night and he acted like he might take her out, I have no reason to believe he would scare anyone away. He likes the mailman. When the mailman reaches our house, Hank relaxes and plays with him until he hands him a treat. 

So, the problem is, everyone thinks I'm going to be raped. Many of the people close to me are concerned that I am going to be unsafe by myself for a year. It is concerning, sure. But what am I going to do??

I have an alarm system on my home, it has however had issues connecting to the company that installed it. Meaning, unless there is a fire, the police are not always called. It's just a very loud annoying noise for a rapist to have to put up with until I put the code in or a neighbor calls the police, about 10% of the time. I have to hope that my intruder is also an arsonist if I want the alarm to really be 100% effective. But they don't know that. So, I've played in my head what I would say to them "Excuse me sir, that alarm system you hear,  yeah it just called the police. They should be here soon. I'm not playing. Go. Quit petting the dog. Scram bucko!".

Ineffective? Perhaps. I think I'll have that checked. 

Zack wants me to get a gun. Which I am absolutely not going to do. I don't want a gun in my home. It's too easy to have an accident. I'm pretty sure I'd just be providing the assailant a weapon. I have on occasion tried to give my husband a dose of his own fracking medicine and shoot him with his stupid nerf gun, he immediately apprehends said gun and I am pelted with dozens of tiny nerf bullets. It's annoying. I fear that with a real gun, the outcome with an intruder could be far more fatal. 

I don't want a gun.

I have, as recently as a couple of weeks ago, fostered dogs in the past. Usually tiny dogs, but I could get a bigger scarier one... I mean, one with a scary bark and a big head. But Hank likes being an only child and I think he was happy to see the last foster leave. I'm pretty sure he's waiting for Lucy the adorable demon kitty to find a new home. Sorry Bud, she's staying. Unless she jumps on this keyboard one more time while I'm blogging....

So, what to do?? I'm interested in what other military wives do during deployment. I know lots of people move in with their parents, which is super not happening. We all get along better when I live somewhere else. Plus Hank sheds and my parent's cat tried to eat Lucy. 

I could get a roomie I guess. The last time it was pretty fun.

hm.

I can't wait for this stupid year to be over.

Ready Or Not

What a year it's been. I decided to do one of those "My year in random facebook photo's from this year" apps on facebook. Just a little rearranging and here's a little bit of the big moments from 2010. 

The first grainy picture where I look like I haven't seen the sun in months, was at the superbowl party where Zack met most of my Dad's side of the family for the first time. It's also the night he told most of them he was going to propose to me one day. 

The second picture is from when we got married but I put it there to symbolize how he proposed a month later on Feb 21st. It was one of the most exciting days of my life so far. 

The third picture is of my baby, Hank, with a sign that says I miss you. That makes me smile because our house/dog sitter sent it to me when we went on vacation in March-April to Indiana for 3 weeks so I could meet Zack's family before we got married. I love them so much and I'm so glad we went.

The fourth picture is Zack, Me and Kenzie, our niece. This was from the first night we were there, we all went to a mexican restaurant to eat. I was nervous for about 2 minutes. I was always supposed to be in their family. They made me feel welcome, like one of them, from the moment I got there. I love them so much =)

The fifth picture is Zack and I getting ready to go to a wedding in Indiana for one of his cousins, we had so much fun. The whole trip was really amazing. I am so lucky to be a part of their family. 

The sixth terrible quality snapshot is me with T at my bachelorette party, at the end of April. I was ... hammered... as they say. ha. To the point where there are pictures of me standing against a wall by myself repeatedly blowing my penis whistle and singing to myself. I looked hot that night but those pictures just look like I was massacred drunk. And I was.  

The seventh and eighth pictures are from the best day of this year, the day I became a Williams, the day I married my heart, my hero, my best friend.. aww sigh. May 7th. It was such a good day. The ninth picture is from the bar we went to afterwards to knock a few back. I never said we were classy =)

The tenth and eleventh pictures are from a vacation to lake Okoboji we took with my family in September. I love being with Zack and my family, or his family, because it feels like we were all supposed to be together. I belong with Zack's fam, and he belongs with mine. It's really the strangest most delightful feeling, and one I'd never experienced before Zack. 

The next (12th) picture is of Zack in our driveway before starting our 5th long road trip together in less than 8 months. We were on our way to Chicago, in September, to see my friend Pat, and to see our friends Nick and Heather get married (and Zack was in their wedding). We love Pat, Nick, and Heather, so the ride was tolerable. We also got to surprise Zack's mom and step-dad and sweet sister (they all cried =) ) in Indiana for a day or two, and see our new baby nephew Max. He and Kenzie are the cutest kids alive. 

The thirteenth picture is of our new baby Lucy who is such a pain in the ass  joy. We love her so very much and even though she makes me want to throw her outside to fend for herself pull my hair out, on occasion, I can not imagine our lives without her. She's usually very sweet, and too cute for words.

The fourteenth picture is from a day I'd been waiting for since I met Zack, and definitely since I married him. His 21st birthday. It was a success, in that he was puking in the parking lot and the bouncer didn't want to let him back in the bar by the end of the night. We all had fun.

The next picture is both our babies, my little loves, snuggling together on the couch. Until we make a beeb I will continue to love them at an unhealthy level. Also, Lucy has a Christmas sweater on in that picture. Don't judge me.

And the last picture is my current fav of us, at Christmas. I sure do love that Sailor.

2010 was a good year for me. The best yet, I could say. So I'm sad to see it go. 

Goodbye 2010, my friend, thanks for everything. I'll never forget you =)

And a toast for those of you getting crazy tonight--

If the ocean were vodka and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean's not vodka and I'm not a duck, so pass me the bottle and shut the hell up=)

Happy New Year err'body!

Relief

Oh thank GOD for migraine relief. I don't know what did it. I don't know why it took so long, and I definitely don't know why I had to waste an entire day in bed with the lights off randomly crying for my Mom. But it appears to be over now. Thank GOD for that. Thank GOD. Seriously.
That's enough about that.
Today was a nice day, I'm told. I really hate that I missed it, ha.
Seriously, enough about that.
Zack is making me watch Secret Window. Which I do not enjoy. It's a good movie, I guess, just not my genre. We're at the there is no John Schuter part. WHAT?! What a shock. I called it. The first time I watched it.
Anyway.
The most random and bizarre search terms are leading people to my blog. I am grateful for the readers, so I wont judge them. But, yesterday, someone got to my blog by using the search terms "with the dogs tail". Which is slightly alarming.
For the record no dog tails were harmed in the making of this blog. I don't even remember ever writing about a dog tail, although I must have. My life is filled with dog tails. For example, Lucy is attacking Hank's dog tail on the couch next to me right now. It's adorable.
Speaking of dog tails, I also missed volunteering today at the animal shelter. Which I am unhappy about. Since I didn't go you should go and adopt a cat or dog from them today. Right after reading this. Here's the website =) solas.networku.net
I would like to find a new free way to spend time with my husband and create lasting memories before he leaves. Preferably at home. We've been playing a lot of wii... naked. lol, just kidding about the naked part. Or am I? haha.
I am super hungry. I told Zack this and he said "I'm not. I've been grazing in the kitchen all day. I literally haven't stopped eating." haha. Grazing is a popular family term used when someone is mindlessly eating whatever is edible. Zack is becoming more and more like my father. It's concerning and strangely comforting.
Well, this post was the picture of random. Whatever.
See you all tomorrow =)

Lucky, Lucky, Me

Man, am I lucky. I am. I'm so blessed. There's so many things in my life to be thankful for this year. My husband, rocks. My parents are amazing. My brother is happy, healthy, and hilarious, and won a chili cook off because he rocks. My in-laws are awesome, and I love them so much. Zack and I have amazing amazing friends that I doubt we deserve. We have a, usually messy, full house of animals we love and are helping. I have a pretty fantastic life.
Yesterday Zack and I celebrated his 21st birthday with some of our very favorite people. It was suuuper fun, and I am feeling it today. Today we spent the day eating and laughing with family.
I am so grateful.
Today I mostly ignored thoughts of next year when Zack's birthday will fall on Thanksgiving and he will be half a world away from me and the rest of the people who love him. I'm sure he will have friends who love him in Bahrain, and if you've met my hubby you agree. He's a likable guy. Literally everyone loves him. It still breaks my heart more than usual to think about not being able to squeeze him on his birthday. To drink until we're sick and then come home and cuddle. sigh. The fact that his birthday is on Thanksgiving is just the icing on the shit cake. But, it is what it is, and we will live. Maybe i'll go see him then.
yes. It's decided. I will.
Ya know what else? My family really is astoundingly great. They welcome all of my favorite people to their table any time we have a dinner. Today we discussed how I could make Christmas extra special for my love, and they were all helpful and didn't judge me. My aunt is Black Friday shopping at an obscene hour and buying presents for kids who probably will only get presents from her. They're good people. Really good. I am so blessed to know them. Crazy as they may be.
I got my cousin Angie in our drawing for who to buy Christmas presents for this year, and she's having a beeb in May. I am SO excited to get her present. Babe drew my Mama and buying for her should be fun as well.
The next couple of months are going to be superb. I'm going to make every single moment count.
Sorry for the extra sappy post kiddies, but thats where my head is tonight. Yay for stolen internet letting me get it out on here.

Sleeping Beauty

Today Zack and I have been together in wedded bliss for 3 months! Isn't that crazy? And In just 3 more months I will have known him a year haha. Don't judge us.

I am so bored. Today is privacy invasion/ home inspection day and Zack got home from breakfast with his friends at about 8:30 and then helped clean/ psychoticly cleaned everything he could find and he finally just went to sleep. So now I'm watching The Emperors New School and The Replacements while I wait for sleeping beauty to wake up. A reasonable substitute for my husband waking up to play with me would be my snapfish pictures getting here. Tracking says they'll be delivered today!

I won't lie, I'm still super bummed about not getting orders. It suuuper sucks. But it is what it is and everything will work out. Today somebody said on facebook "everything good comes at a walk, everything bad comes like a locomotive." Seeing as all of this seems to be moving at a snail's pace (I'm 100 and just said, at a snail's pace... what I meant was slower than molasses on a cold day...) I hope that saying is true and this means good things.

Sarah Palin is the dumbest human being on the planet. If I saw her I would punch her right in the pie-hole. Her and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. What a Jack-ass that woman is... but I digress. Sorry, the Chris Matthews show came on.

Anyway, I am very excited for our upcoming vacations and getting to go see our new nephew baby Max. Today I went to a dog boarding place to check it out for Mr. Hank and I <3d it. He will love it almost as much as if he could come with.

What a weird day.

By the way! Please pray for Zack's Grandma Dee who is back in the hospital with high potassium counts and kidney issues. We love her so much and want her to get better!

That's all, for now.

Bummer.

I am far too bummed to blog right now. No orders. We were rejected.

I don't know where we go from here or what the plan is now. I'll update everyone when I know. For right now though I'm realizing and remembering that I am very lucky to have my husband and the life that I have and waiting a minute to find out the next step will be ok. It blows. But, it will be ok. Things could be worse. We are lucky and spoiled and blessed.

Life is good.



UPDATE:
Here's what my amazing Husband has to say on the matter, with a little more explanation.
I'm quoting facebook postings--

--Zackery Williams: I found out on nko... Sicily was n for no and Japan and Guam were t for try again. No Bahrain. Fuck it... I don't care anymore. All I care about is my loving wifey and my beautiful doggy Hank. It is what it is.

And on my wall he wrote
--Zackery Williams: Molly it practically ruined my day. But knowing that you will still be home makes me not care about where we go. Basset Hound.


Tell me he isn't the best husband??

I'm a lucky girl.

Busy, busy.. not really.

Today I'm trying to keep busy. Because the day before the last time I thought we were going to find out where we're moving wasn't terrible but definitely got long when I wasn't tired enough to sleep at the end of the day. So I'm going to build a house or something today so that I'm freakin' exhausted tonight. Then when Zack gets home tomorrow I will celebrate with a quick post!

I love Shark Week. So much.

The Ultimate Air Jaws show really just gave me hope and freaked me out. Hope because the beaches look so beautiful and soon I will be living close to one and that makes bringing Hank overseas, and putting him through all the crap he's going to have to go through, totally worth it for him to be able to be a beach dog. He's going to LOVE going to the beach. He looooves swimming. Which brings me to my next point. I'm going to be a wreck when he swims in the ocean... I will be watching him like a hawk. What if a shark tries to get my Hank?? I'll kill, cook and eat a biatch for trying. Shark soup, kids. Tell your shark friends.

We are finally having our "home inspection" this Saturday. If my landlord doesn't show up for any reason, I'll probably just burn my house down out of frustration. We cleaned the carpets yesterday, and they look amazing now. Who the hell puts white carpet throughout an ENTIRE house anyways? Nobody with a damn dog, that's for sure. Or a husband, for that matter.

My irritation on the subject comes from nearly 3 months of scheduling and canceling this stupid violation of my privacy. But, whatever. What's the point now anyways? It's been 3 months. If I did have a meth lab, I would have had plenty of time to hide it. Sigh.

So tomorrow morning we find out where were moving. Tomorrow night Zack works his last shift of this cycle before having 3 days off. Saturday is our 3 month wedding anniversary and all the stuff I ordered from Snapfish should be in. However, we do have that stupid inspection. It should be an interesting weekend. Or not. I don't care.

Lastly, my Pops is riding his Harley to Sturgis this weekend and I want everyone to pray for him to be safe, as well as the people with him. Do it.

<3 you, kiddies!

Spoons

For some reason the idea of eating Mac and cheese with a spoon literally makes me gag. I was just struggling to feed myself with a fork (I'm sober) and thought about maybe taking a crack at using a spoon and literally had to restrain myself from actually becoming sick. I don't know why this concept is so disgusting to me, but it sure is.

I also have a very real fear of drinking out of an open beverage, as in anything from a can or a cup, that has been out of my sight for even a second-even in my own home- even when I'm home alone. Idk if its because my Dad assured me that if my drink ever left my sight in public I would immediately be drugged, raped, and likely murdered, by a predator, or just some weird phobia I've developed.

I think part of it is that Holly and other adorably gross sailors my husband brings home chew tobacco, and therefore spit nastiness, into various items in my house. If I unsuspectingly drank chew spit I would immediately try to throw myself off the roof of my house. I don't know, I would have to be institutionalized or something.

Gross.

Hank is eating very well since Zack started working nights. I can't eat all or even half of anything I might make and its wasteful to throw it away when it makes him so very happy. Save your don't feed Hank people food comments. It's no matter, I don't care (that's a movie quote no one will recognize). If Mac N Cheese makes him happy, ill give it to him. His life is relatively boring, I do what I can. Plus he's adorable.

Today has been a weird day everybody. I think its clear.

Next Tuesday we will know our future living location and I can start getting Hank the fatty his shots! Start to get the ball rolling!

I Burn Everything

This is not a joke. Today I tried to make myself a Bertolli pasta dinner thingy where the instructions were basically one step. My entire house smells like an Italian bonfire. It's disgusting.

Preparation instructions are: Cut open bag. Empty bag into 12 inch skillet on medium heat. Cover. Stir after 5 minutes. Cover. Cook 5 more minutes. Eat.

What happened when I tried to make it? Rip open bag. Pick up spilled contents of bag and throw in skillet on medium heat. Cover. After 2 minutes disable fire alarm. Swear. Scrape unburned noodles and chicken into trusty microwave safe bowl. Microwave 2 minutes. Eat several bites. Give to Hank.

I have absolutely no idea what happened here to make this go awry. I am disheartened. However, my salvaged pasta was delicious, and I haven't gotten sick yet. Which is sweet.

This is a near daily battle for me. I can not cook. I used to think that I could and just didn't want to, but things like this lead me to believe that maybe I am defective. Which concerns me. I have a husband to feed. I'm no June Cleaver and I'm certain he could go without any of my culinary assistance but he's pretty awesome and I like to make sure he's not hungry. Thank goodness he loves me. Occasionally I will somehow produce something from scratch that will be delicious and he is very greatful. Occasionally I will produce something edible and he is equally happy. He just loves me. He's the best.

I really am trying. I purchase devices to help me cook. My bean pot is pretty much the only thing that I can successfully use, but it's dangerous and I have a scar on my right hand to prove it. I also requested randomly a sweet new infomercial item that should be arriving this week, fingers crossed on that going well!

What is even more frustrating, or for that matter... annoying, is that my brother not only CAN cook, as in has the ability, but is very good at it. Like, professionally. Where in the world did he get these skills?? He had to have been born with them. I can spell, he can cook. I don't know.

Ugh.

On an unrelated note Zack and I will find out what country we will be hanging our theoretical hats in in less than 2 weeks. To say I am anxious is an understatement. For those who don't know, Zack put in orders for Japan, Sicily, and Guam. OBVIOUSLY I would LOVE Sicily, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that it is unlikely. It doesn't matter. I can't help lean towards one choice over the other, but I know how lucky I am to get to be stationed with him. They could say were sending you guys, and Hank, to the moon and I would deal.

It's getting real ladies and gents.