Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Security

Alright. I had about 3000 super sad negative things to write about today. But I've stifled them. Instead I've decided to blog about how everyone keeps telling me I should worry about my impending house invasion and consequent attack while Zack is in Bahrain.
Here's the thing, I've lived by myself before. I have a big dog. A big 90 pound german shepherd mix, with big teeth. Hank. Scary right?
Wrong.
Does this look like a scary animal to you?
Holly and Hank Sleeping
Hank and Zack kissing
Doug and Hank Sleeping

He's the sweetest baby in the world 99.8% of the time. Unless you're a bunny, you're traveling down the street on a motorized wheel chair, you have a jimmy johns sandwich in your hand, you're hitting me, or you move to quickly and are not... um... caucasian... (he's a racist. I apologize. We've talked about it. He's working on it.) you're Hank's bestie. He loves everyone. He has a little bit of a nervous licking habit and will lick your hands off, or your face if you're close enough. And my little cousin Zach will testify that if you are sitting in the front seat of my car, he will ignore that you exist.
Exhibit A

He's a marshmellow.
Aside from one instance where Linny approached my door in the middle of the night and he acted like he might take her out, I have no reason to believe he would scare anyone away. He likes the mailman. When the mailman reaches our house, Hank relaxes and plays with him until he hands him a treat. 

So, the problem is, everyone thinks I'm going to be raped. Many of the people close to me are concerned that I am going to be unsafe by myself for a year. It is concerning, sure. But what am I going to do??

I have an alarm system on my home, it has however had issues connecting to the company that installed it. Meaning, unless there is a fire, the police are not always called. It's just a very loud annoying noise for a rapist to have to put up with until I put the code in or a neighbor calls the police, about 10% of the time. I have to hope that my intruder is also an arsonist if I want the alarm to really be 100% effective. But they don't know that. So, I've played in my head what I would say to them "Excuse me sir, that alarm system you hear,  yeah it just called the police. They should be here soon. I'm not playing. Go. Quit petting the dog. Scram bucko!".
Ineffective? Perhaps. I think I'll have that checked. 

Zack wants me to get a gun. Which I am absolutely not going to do. I don't want a gun in my home. It's too easy to have an accident. I'm pretty sure I'd just be providing the assailant a weapon. I have on occasion tried to give my husband a dose of his own fracking medicine and shoot him with his stupid nerf gun, he immediately apprehends said gun and I am pelted with dozens of tiny nerf bullets. It's annoying. I fear that with a real gun, the outcome with an intruder could be far more fatal. 
I don't want a gun.

I have, as recently as a couple of weeks ago, fostered dogs in the past. Usually tiny dogs, but I could get a bigger scarier one... I mean, one with a scary bark and a big head. But Hank likes being an only child and I think he was happy to see the last foster leave. I'm pretty sure he's waiting for Lucy the adorable demon kitty to find a new home. Sorry Bud, she's staying. Unless she jumps on this keyboard one more time while I'm blogging....

So, what to do?? I'm interested in what other military wives do during deployment. I know lots of people move in with their parents, which is super not happening. We all get along better when I live somewhere else. Plus Hank sheds and my parent's cat tried to eat Lucy. 

I could get a roomie I guess. The last time it was pretty fun.
hm.

I can't wait for this stupid year to be over.



1 comment:

ChicaChels said...

well, I think you will be fine honestly. I mean TONS of people (women) live alone in CB and the home intrusion/rape stats are pretty low. If you go out partying and bring a random home, you might be in more danger, but we both know that won't happen.

Also, Hank can look intimidating..when he tries to not be so cute! And, you know you always have a place at my house..which is super safe and my husband has an arsenal of weapons (Locked up of course, seeing that we have a 1 year old) ... we also live in BFE. So you can just come here if you think you need to!




ps - love the new background