Taking The Bad With The Good

I am in a fantastic mood today, considering.

Considering my house is more than likely going to be under 3 to 4 feet of standing water by the end of the month, and I am being forced to pack all of my most important worldly belongings. I am feeling confident that I'm going to be able to get out all of the things that really matter to Zack and I, as well as most of the stuff that doesn't. If my house is unlivable, which it will obviously be if it floods even a little, I have a place to go that I can take my Hank and Lucy, and all of our stuff, for free. Which is exciting since I will still get my housing allowance, and I will have enough money to replace any necessities that I may not move.

This is all fantastic news.

However, I am super excited because today was my second weigh in with Weight Watchers. I have officially been on "the plan" for 2 full weeks and I have already lost 7.4 pounds! Woot! I received my 5 pound weight loss milestone today and I am thrilled. I have also lost multiple inches. I am elated. I can't believe how easy this is. I can't believe how close I am to my first goal, it is insane. At this rate I will reach my goal weight well before Zack gets home. I just need to stay motivated, and I really don't think that's going to be a problem.

I am already looking at cute little outfits to wear to pick Zack up from the airport. It's so exciting.

I know 7.4 pounds doesn't seem like much in 2 weeks, but this isn't really a diet, it's the way I will learn to eat for the rest of my life. People on weight watchers generally lose 1 to 2 pounds a week. I have a total of 50 weeks since I started Weight Watchers to the time Zack gets home, 1 or 2 pounds a week works pretty perfectly since I'm not trying to lose 100 pounds.

That was exactly what I needed to get me out of my funk. I have been pretty sad lately. But today I feel good. Even though I still miss Zackery like crazy.

I HATE packing and moving though. I have always hated it. It always feels messy and unorganized. So in that arena, I could definitely use some motivation. It is not fun.

I'm being told if it floods even a little bit they will shut off the power to our area. Since it is almost a certainty that it will flood at least a little bit I feel like I should start moving my stuff as soon as possible so that I don't end up moving stuff, especially big stuff, from my house in the 10 zillion degree heat.

Because the heat here is not playing around. It is as hot here this week as it is in Bahrain. It's insane. Anyone who has ever moved or helped someone move, knows that the only thing worse than moving someone in the middle of the subzero temp winter, is moving someone in the middle of the my skin is cooking temps in the summer. So, It's sort of a hurry up and wait game now. Good thing I'm so used to that.

So, there's that.

I want to briefly mention to all of you how bummed I was this morning, however.
WAIT! It's not what you think.
This morning I wanted to donate Lucy's old litter box to the animal shelter, because I just got a sweet new one that requires minimal poop touching. I got there a little early and while I was sitting in the parking lot I saw a family, with their 2 small children in the car, bringing their cat and kittens to be dropped off.
It is kitten season and the shelter is PACKED with homeless cats and kittens. If you bring your cat in with it's kittens right now you should feel confident that at least half of them will not make it out. They're just too full. So don't be an ass and take your cat and kittens to the shelter. Spay and Neuter your animals, first and foremost. But if you're too lazy and irresponsible to do that, at the very least, it is your responsibility to take care of your family pets offspring, and make sure they all have loving and responsible homes to go to.
How can someone take their pet to the pound like they're returning a library book? I can't understand it. Lucy is psychotic. She is rarely a joy to be around. She is mean to everyone besides Zack and I, and really that's only if she's having a good day. She believes, firmly, that her mission in life is to attack and kill everything in our home. Even on her very worst day, I have never seriously considered taking her to the pound. Because she's my responsibility. Zack and I adopted her and I owe it to her to stick it out no matter how psychotic she turned out to be, and love her even if she will only let me pet her 2 or 3 times a day.

Lucy helping me pack.

So don't be stupid.
It breaks my heart.

So. Negative.

Sometimes I miss Zack so much it is physically debilitating. It actually hurts.
I'm happy for the wives who aren't really bothered by being alone, I really don't judge them. I'm actually jealous.
This week I am mostly sad. Some days I think it's getting much easier, but today, I think it's much harder and the wound of my husband having to spend a year elsewhere is still pretty fresh.
This week I finally kicked that stupid Thunderbolt cell phone (that's right, turns out I hate it) and Verizon, to the curb.
I got a new iphone4 with AT&T and now I can TEXT Zack. It's the best thing that's happened for our relationship since he left. I feel closer to him. Which is probably why this last few days have been so difficult, because I feel closer to him but he is still so, so, far away. I literally can't explain to you what I would do to see him right now, and be able to touch him. I promise you it's way more exciting, and explicit, than what I would do for a Klondike bar.
Yep. I'm going crazy.

And now my house might be in this stupid flood. It's infuriating. It's stupid and I hate it.

Also, I miss my Grandma. A lot. She's in Florida right now, and I really want her to come home. To her house.

Before I get the hate mail, I know how lucky I am that my husband isn't in Afghanistan or somewhere where I have to worry about how dangerous it is. I know I am super blessed to be able to talk to him and text him, sometimes even skype him. I guess I'm just a whiner, ok? I miss him so much. There's nothing I can do. So I'm complaining. Because it's late at night, and I miss my husband.
I don't want to spend my 27th night in bed with Hank and Lucy, and no Zack.
Tonight, It's weighing heavy on my heart that I have at least 342 more nights alone. Sometimes that happens. More than likely I will wake up in the morning and feel good, like I can deal with all the absolute nonsense happening here, by myself. But tonight, I miss my partner. I miss Zack.
And this is my blog. So if you don't like it don't read it.
However, know that every day I'm thinking about the families not as lucky as ours. I hate that there are wives, girlfriends and families, who don't get to communicate with their loved ones. I am thinking about you. I am sorry. You are a stronger person than I am.

Tonight, I hate this. I hate all of this.
Except for him.

 I love you, so much.

Quick Update

I love this picture =)

I'm so glad my geeky husband and my geeky brother get along so well.

It makes me immeasurably happy that my whole family loves Zack.

My Dad especially...

My Dad and Zack dancing at my cousin Jen's wedding reception

My Dad and Zack sharing a Margarita.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me.

I miss hanging out with all of us together. We usually hang out all the time. Sigh.

Zack is doing well! We both get sad when it's time to sleep alone, but outside of that we are both doing pretty well. He is staying optimistic, only 51 weeks left =)

Today he had to shoot and he had an inspection so I'm waiting to hear from him. In fact, I probably would have heard from him this morning if Lucy behaved like a normal animal and didn't chew on my phone charger all night.

Just thought I'd get everyone a quick update. Nothing too exciting =)

Later Gators!

So Sleepy I'm Delirious

I am tired of not sleeping. Actually I am EXHAUSTED from not sleeping. I am so tired of being sad.
I have been trying not to be so negative. It is definitely hard.
I was ok all day, but I was almost asleep just now and forgot momentarily the situation and thought for a second I would find Zack to hug him. I just want to hug my husband.
Ugh. I know that everyone is tired of reading about what a whiner I am, but I need an outlet.

I am so glad Zack doesn't hate Bahrain. That would be so much worse.

He has his first day of work tomorrow, and I am so excited for him! Isn't that exciting?
Despite the fact that I am a wreck, I am so very excited for all of the new fun things he is experiencing. I have done my fair share of world traveling, and I know that even though he will be homesick this experience will be so much fun for him.

He's such a sweet man.
When we were in Florida we had so much fun. I've never met someone who appreciates things the way Zack does. We went to Gatorland one day and Zack's mouth was wide open the entire time. When I probably would have just went through the motions, instead I enjoyed it so much. Same with Seaworld. It was unbelievable how much fun we had in Florida. He is that kind of person.

So what if I cropped myself out, don't judge me.

This is us with real life gators at gatorland.

We paid extra to get to feed them.

It's a picture of a picture, but they really are real, we were that close!

When he called me while he was boarding his first international flight and told me that there was "like 8 seats across" in the plane and practically giggled telling me about the tv's on the plane and how they would probably serve dinner, it suddenly hit me that I am so excited for him.
I look forward to every phone call, because even though he is sad, he is always so stoked to fill me in on what's going on (and because I love to talk to him, of course).

His roomie in Bahrain is also married, and he found someone there who he went to bootcamp with.
He said it's unbelievably hot. The high there is usually like 100 to 111. It's obscene.
Still no internet though. I've been able to talk to him on the phone multiple times now, and that will work for now.

I can't wait for this stupid year to be over.
I'm excited for him, but I still just want to hug my husband.
Words can not express.

Zack Made Me Cry

I know I promised a post about the psychic tonight, and it's started. But it's hard to complete when all I can think about is Zack leaving.
Today starts his last 3 day cycle of him doing his regular job before he switches to a desk job until his leave. Basically he will work these 3 days, be off until next Monday, when he will start working a day job in the office until April 16th. Then he is on leave to spend time with me and the people he loves, and get things ready to go. Then, just after our first anniversary, I will put my sweet husband on a plane for Bahrain. If I can function.
What am I going to do? I feel awful about it. Every day.
The plan was to use our tax return to make sure he had some travel money and to make sure we were both well equipped with a reliable way to skype with each other. Well, the plan is in jeopardy, because our tax return was not anything like what we expected. We had never filed as a married couple before. We expected more.
We are accepting donations.

Zack loves to read my blog. Which makes me so happy.
The other day he came out of the bedroom after reading it, and was sad. Zack is rarely sad. It's actually sort of frustrating. I don't want him to be sad, but this is a sad situation and he rarely talks about it. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that my blog made him sad.
Great. I knew I should have waited for something more exciting to blog about.
After several minutes of begging him to tell me what made him sad he finally told me it was because he read the post where I wrote about feeling guilty for not going to the dentist with him, because he said "because we do everything together. We're lovers. We're buddies. We're best friends." .
So we both started trying really hard not to cry. We told each other it would be ok, that I could handle things here and he could handle things there, and we would be better for it. We talked about how we will get to talk all the time, and about how absence makes the heart grow fonder... yatta yatta yatta.
I still cried.
So did he, don't tell him I told you.

It's not fair.

I know he's not going to Afghan. I know he's not going to Iraq. But, I'll miss him just as well. I miss him now, and he will be home in a few hours.
I love him so much.
We're buddies. We do everything together. For a year, a whole year, I will be without my best friend, my hero, my other half, the love of my life.
What am I going to do?

I don't want this to happen.

I would find someone I love this much, someone who loves me this much, and have him get stationed without me.

It will be alright. Right?

It will.

I'm lucky I found a love like ours. I'm lucky I have him to miss.

It still sucks.





Psychic post tomorrow? Sorry this post was such a bummer.
XOXO

About Waiting....

So about waiting.. I know I said we were gonna try that, but it absolutely sucks. I want a baby today. If I found a baby in Starbucks this afternoon, it is unlikely I would even report it. Baby fever has completely consumed me. Working at the daycare did not help matters.
As I'm typing this I'm choking down multiple terrible smelling prenatal and b6 vitamins. I want this. Zack wants this. The psychic we recently saw (which is a post in itself, I'll have to get to that) said it would happen. My Dad isn't really on board yet, but he's the only one actually voicing concern.
Obviously there are pros and cons. Zack will be gone during the pregnancy. That will be pretty awful. But we both want this.
Do I worry I'll be put on bedrest or something and have no one to help me? No. Not really. I am blessed with a lot of people who have a lot of love for me. And I just know I'm going to have a run of the mill healthy pregnancy.
I'm a worrier though, by nature, and I have thought of everything.
Everything. All of the scary awful things, too.
So instead of avoiding it, we're going back to our "not trying, not preventing" routine.
I can't wait to get to announce when we are finally expecting baby beautiful eyes =)
He already has a name. I know it will be a boy first. I can feel it. Plus, the psychic said so. Ha.

Man, it's nice to be blogging again. I have like 8 posts waiting to be published. I've typed my little fingers to the bone. So keep checking back- a lot of them are short little updates like this one, and some are novel style long.

Also, this week is National Genital Integrity Awareness week. If you or someone you know is about to have a little boy please check out the information available on the internet concerning circumcision. No health organization recommends infant circumcision, as anything more than a painful cosmetic procedure. drmomma.org has a wealth of information concerning infant circumcision and the dangers of having it done. It's not cleaner, it's not safer, and the rate of infant circumcision in the United States is rapidly declining because people are coming to their senses.

I'll leave you today with this- we'll talk again soon!

The following is information from the website circumcisiondecisionmaker.com

Human males, like all mammals, are born with a foreskin. Sometimes called the prepuce, the foreskin is thus an integral part of the normal penis.1 Its female counterpart is the clitoral hood, with which it shares many valuable features. The average adult’s foreskin is:

the most sensitive part of the penis, with 3/4 of its nerve endings

fifteen square inches in surface area, about the size of a regular postcard

a specialized double layer for a unique purpose.

The foreskin is intact in most Europeans, and in 80-85% of all other men around the world. At one time, virtually all Americans were intact, too. Circumcision became popular in the Victorian era because doctors (mistakenly) thought it curbed masturbation, which they viewed as an unhealthy practice.3 The circumcision rate increased due to social reasons and peaked in 1980 at 85%. Since then it has been declining steadily, dropping to 56% in 2006 and plummeting to 32% today as parents learn more about circumcision.

Our expert panel's consensus, after an extensive review of the literature, is that the only possible justification for circumcision is to treat boys or men with penile diseases or disorders—never as a preventive measure. The foreskin is a vital, functional part of the male genital anatomy. It is not a birth defect. Therefore, if there is not an absolutely urgent reason for removing it, it should remain intact—for ethical, psychological, and sexual reasons. The boy himself, when he is old enough, is the only person who should make any decision affecting the looks and function of his penis.

VISIT CIRCUMCISIONDECISIONMAKER.COM

Something To Get Excited About

This week has been a whirlwind. Just when we got that stupid packet and I was as bummed as ever, all the stars lined up and God sent me some things I could get excited about.

Going through all the packet stuff was horribly depressing. Not just for me, but also for Zack. For the first time since we found out he was going to have to leave (I think) having to go to Bahrain was real for Zack, too. He was super bummed. The whole day basically sucked. We couldn't cheer each other up, and for the following 3 days we fought like crazy, including one major episode in front of Doug and Linny (Sorry about that guys), it was probably the worst fight we've ever had. Naturally, it happened when we had people staying at our house. Extremely embarrassing.

Things were not good.

Then we realized Zack would be home for our one year anniversary. His "no later than" date is after our May 7th Anniversary, so he won't have to leave until a few days after. Even though him leaving later than expected is a blessing and a curse, since he will then be back later, we were both instantly very excited about him being home for our anniversary. Things started to look up, which was amazing.

I've said on here before that hanging out with my friend Chelsea and her husband Sam and especially their beeb Brylie, instantly makes me feel better. They are the very best friends a girl can ask for and I love them so much. Last week was no exception, and actually, was a perfect example. Chelsea is always the first person to tell me Zack loves me and we're both just stressed, she's the first person I know will text me back no matter what time it is, and she is a like-mind when it comes to things i'm interested in.
Chels is a strong advocate for gentle birthing and attached parenting, which is my FAVORITE subject. After a few days of being down I spent the day with Chelsea and Brylie and a few of their friends, one of which is Chelsea's rockstar doula. Chels and I spent a few days talking about her and what an awesome career she had and how much I would love it and how it would suit me before I realized that's exactly what I should be doing.
The next morning I did some research and discussed it with the people closest to me, and just a few days later here I sit, enrolled in Doula training, waiting patiently for my July training conference and looking at a required reading list of about 30 books I can't wait to read.

I am excited!

For the first time EVER I know what I want to be when I grow up! I am made to work in the birth field, and not the hospital medical route either. I know that God has brought me this opportunity and waited so long for me to see what I wanted to do so that I could find out now, and have something to be so so excited about even though my husband is leaving for a year. Perfect timing!

Plus, this will help me get my pregnancy and birth fix in while I'm waiting my turn.


Woohoo!


I couldn't wait to share this news with you all :) I'll keep you all updated on the process!


Okay, so I know this isn't the Bahrain post, but I hate that post. I don't even want to finish writing it. Eventually I will, and I'm sure it will be an anticlimactic read for all of you. I just don't like to think about it. So, I'm postponing for now. I hope you all understand.

I'm off to color my hair back to a more natural, less red, color. I'll talk to you all again soon!

Hold Please

Zack got his "Welcome to Bahrain packet". It made both of us sadder than we thought it would. While, I go through that information and put some of it together for a blog post, I thought I'd post a video for your enjoyment. (Thanks for sending me this Linny) I can't wait for homecoming. Man, I can't wait for homecoming.

I love this video, and the song is fabulous.

Security

Alright. I had about 3000 super sad negative things to write about today. But I've stifled them. Instead I've decided to blog about how everyone keeps telling me I should worry about my impending house invasion and consequent attack while Zack is in Bahrain.
Here's the thing, I've lived by myself before. I have a big dog. A big 90 pound german shepherd mix, with big teeth. Hank. Scary right?
Wrong.
Does this look like a scary animal to you?

Holly and Hank Sleeping

Hank and Zack kissing

Doug and Hank Sleeping

He's the sweetest baby in the world 99.8% of the time. Unless you're a bunny, you're traveling down the street on a motorized wheel chair, you have a jimmy johns sandwich in your hand, you're hitting me, or you move to quickly and are not... um... caucasian... (he's a racist. I apologize. We've talked about it. He's working on it.) you're Hank's bestie. He loves everyone. He has a little bit of a nervous licking habit and will lick your hands off, or your face if you're close enough. And my little cousin Zach will testify that if you are sitting in the front seat of my car, he will ignore that you exist.

Exhibit A

He's a marshmellow.

Aside from one instance where Linny approached my door in the middle of the night and he acted like he might take her out, I have no reason to believe he would scare anyone away. He likes the mailman. When the mailman reaches our house, Hank relaxes and plays with him until he hands him a treat. 

So, the problem is, everyone thinks I'm going to be raped. Many of the people close to me are concerned that I am going to be unsafe by myself for a year. It is concerning, sure. But what am I going to do??

I have an alarm system on my home, it has however had issues connecting to the company that installed it. Meaning, unless there is a fire, the police are not always called. It's just a very loud annoying noise for a rapist to have to put up with until I put the code in or a neighbor calls the police, about 10% of the time. I have to hope that my intruder is also an arsonist if I want the alarm to really be 100% effective. But they don't know that. So, I've played in my head what I would say to them "Excuse me sir, that alarm system you hear,  yeah it just called the police. They should be here soon. I'm not playing. Go. Quit petting the dog. Scram bucko!".

Ineffective? Perhaps. I think I'll have that checked. 

Zack wants me to get a gun. Which I am absolutely not going to do. I don't want a gun in my home. It's too easy to have an accident. I'm pretty sure I'd just be providing the assailant a weapon. I have on occasion tried to give my husband a dose of his own fracking medicine and shoot him with his stupid nerf gun, he immediately apprehends said gun and I am pelted with dozens of tiny nerf bullets. It's annoying. I fear that with a real gun, the outcome with an intruder could be far more fatal. 

I don't want a gun.

I have, as recently as a couple of weeks ago, fostered dogs in the past. Usually tiny dogs, but I could get a bigger scarier one... I mean, one with a scary bark and a big head. But Hank likes being an only child and I think he was happy to see the last foster leave. I'm pretty sure he's waiting for Lucy the adorable demon kitty to find a new home. Sorry Bud, she's staying. Unless she jumps on this keyboard one more time while I'm blogging....

So, what to do?? I'm interested in what other military wives do during deployment. I know lots of people move in with their parents, which is super not happening. We all get along better when I live somewhere else. Plus Hank sheds and my parent's cat tried to eat Lucy. 

I could get a roomie I guess. The last time it was pretty fun.

hm.

I can't wait for this stupid year to be over.

Ready Or Not

What a year it's been. I decided to do one of those "My year in random facebook photo's from this year" apps on facebook. Just a little rearranging and here's a little bit of the big moments from 2010. 

The first grainy picture where I look like I haven't seen the sun in months, was at the superbowl party where Zack met most of my Dad's side of the family for the first time. It's also the night he told most of them he was going to propose to me one day. 

The second picture is from when we got married but I put it there to symbolize how he proposed a month later on Feb 21st. It was one of the most exciting days of my life so far. 

The third picture is of my baby, Hank, with a sign that says I miss you. That makes me smile because our house/dog sitter sent it to me when we went on vacation in March-April to Indiana for 3 weeks so I could meet Zack's family before we got married. I love them so much and I'm so glad we went.

The fourth picture is Zack, Me and Kenzie, our niece. This was from the first night we were there, we all went to a mexican restaurant to eat. I was nervous for about 2 minutes. I was always supposed to be in their family. They made me feel welcome, like one of them, from the moment I got there. I love them so much =)

The fifth picture is Zack and I getting ready to go to a wedding in Indiana for one of his cousins, we had so much fun. The whole trip was really amazing. I am so lucky to be a part of their family. 

The sixth terrible quality snapshot is me with T at my bachelorette party, at the end of April. I was ... hammered... as they say. ha. To the point where there are pictures of me standing against a wall by myself repeatedly blowing my penis whistle and singing to myself. I looked hot that night but those pictures just look like I was massacred drunk. And I was.  

The seventh and eighth pictures are from the best day of this year, the day I became a Williams, the day I married my heart, my hero, my best friend.. aww sigh. May 7th. It was such a good day. The ninth picture is from the bar we went to afterwards to knock a few back. I never said we were classy =)

The tenth and eleventh pictures are from a vacation to lake Okoboji we took with my family in September. I love being with Zack and my family, or his family, because it feels like we were all supposed to be together. I belong with Zack's fam, and he belongs with mine. It's really the strangest most delightful feeling, and one I'd never experienced before Zack. 

The next (12th) picture is of Zack in our driveway before starting our 5th long road trip together in less than 8 months. We were on our way to Chicago, in September, to see my friend Pat, and to see our friends Nick and Heather get married (and Zack was in their wedding). We love Pat, Nick, and Heather, so the ride was tolerable. We also got to surprise Zack's mom and step-dad and sweet sister (they all cried =) ) in Indiana for a day or two, and see our new baby nephew Max. He and Kenzie are the cutest kids alive. 

The thirteenth picture is of our new baby Lucy who is such a pain in the ass  joy. We love her so very much and even though she makes me want to throw her outside to fend for herself pull my hair out, on occasion, I can not imagine our lives without her. She's usually very sweet, and too cute for words.

The fourteenth picture is from a day I'd been waiting for since I met Zack, and definitely since I married him. His 21st birthday. It was a success, in that he was puking in the parking lot and the bouncer didn't want to let him back in the bar by the end of the night. We all had fun.

The next picture is both our babies, my little loves, snuggling together on the couch. Until we make a beeb I will continue to love them at an unhealthy level. Also, Lucy has a Christmas sweater on in that picture. Don't judge me.

And the last picture is my current fav of us, at Christmas. I sure do love that Sailor.

2010 was a good year for me. The best yet, I could say. So I'm sad to see it go. 

Goodbye 2010, my friend, thanks for everything. I'll never forget you =)

And a toast for those of you getting crazy tonight--

If the ocean were vodka and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean's not vodka and I'm not a duck, so pass me the bottle and shut the hell up=)

Happy New Year err'body!

My Appreciation

Hello kiddies! How are all of  you? I hope you all had a fantastic Christmas. Mine was magical, I soaked up every moment with my family and my hubs.

Christmas Eve - It's disgusting how much I love him.

It was amazing and we were spoiled. I appreciated it this year more than ever before, for several reasons. Sure it was in the forefront of my mind that next year will be hard while Zack is in Bahrain, even if I do get to go there. I appreciated spending time with my family. 

But this year I also remembered to appreciate being in a warm house, with an obscene amount of food, and more than enough presents to go around. 

The day before Christmas Eve Zack and I went with several other members of my family to volunteer for the Christmas party at a Christian daycare for the children of the working poor. It was so humbling and I want to take a moment to briefly share a little of my experience.

I have to stop quick and give a shout out here to my Aunt Mary who made a lot of things happen for these kids this year and several previous years and also asked Zack and I to come this year. And another big shout out to my Uncle Rod, who is the nicest, coolest, sweetest man alive and has played Santa to the 100+ screaming kids for the past several years like a champ. As well as Stacy who braved a fear of the "just bombed for bugs" building and sweated her way through the day, and who raised Cody and Zach (who also came) who are just about the coolest kids I've ever met and who are always, always willing to help someone out. And of course, to my Zack, who I saw in a different light helping little kids, even if he did gag at the smell of a freshly soiled diaper on the baby floor. 

I have unbelievably generous and kind family members. Back to what I was saying...

I have never "went without" as they say. I was blessed with amazing parents who loved me and were blessed with jobs that allowed them to provide more than enough for my brother and I. They worked hard, and often, and they were still the best parents anyone could have asked for. (Don't tell them I said that). 

I wont go in to how many cars they've bought my brother and I, how many trips they've paid for, what bills they still pay... They're amazing. I've always known this and appreciated them.

Then I went to Precious Memories...

I knew before I got there that there were a lot of kids and that most of them only got the presents they would be getting at this party. When we walked in to the basement to meet Angy (who is a Saint, this place is ran by Saints) we were surrounded by over 100 full trash bags of donated gifts. I was overwhelmed. We helped sort them and asked her which bag went to which kid, and which kid went to which pile, indicating the floor they were on in the building, the fact that she not only remembered each kids name but their age and which floor they were on was beyond my comprehension. 

After all of the sorting was finished while my uncle got all Santa'd up, we went to talk to the kiddies. The afore mentioned Saints talked to the kids about what was going to happen and they sang songs and talked about the Christmas story and how there was no room at the inn. It was very sweet to see all of the kids so anxious.

Then came Santa, and the glee from the kids made me so happy, and so sad. One at a time they each got a chance to sit on Santa's lap and get a picture and their stocking filled with candy, then they got their (usually bigger than them) bag of presents. 

Needless to say they were very grateful.

It was a lot more emotional for me than I had intended. 

It's emotional for me now, because I'm a huge baby. 

One of the kids was having a conversation with one of the ladies that works there. He asked "Will there be popcorn of chips at the party?" She told him there would be popcorn AND chips, and pudding cups, and sandwiches, and juice, and all sorts of other food to eat for lunch afterwards. The little boy literally squealed. 

There were kids who's parents came and wouldn't let them open their gifts so that they had something to open Christmas morning. There were kids who screamed and got excited for underwear and socks. There were kids who drug their trashbags through the line to get lunch with them after opening because they didn't want the gifts out of their site. They were so proud of their stuff. They were so dang cute. There were babies there who were days old all the way to school age kids, and none forgotten. It rocked.

I can't wait to go back.

The moral of my story is, I appreciate that I will probably never have to wonder where my next meal will come from. I appreciate that I never did have to wonder. I have a whole new appreciation for new socks and underwear, and all of the other presents I would have hated as a kid. My family is blessed. And no matter what happens, or what job I start working and what my hours are, I will always make time to give back. Because I'm spoiled. And Blessed. 

Going there was definitely worth the cold I got almost immediately after leaving.

Sigh, so, who's coming with me? 

So, You Think You Want To Marry A Sailor? Part I

Recently a few of my friends have said silly things to me about how they would love to date someone in the Navy/Military, and I feel this needs to be addressed my little tag chasers. Being married to someone who is married to the military is not all Christmas parties, and halloween parties, and moving fun places, and awesome benefits, etc. Although, there is a lot about it that's fun, a lot about claiming a sailor/soldier/airmen/marine is pretty suckful.

So this post will be dedicated to a few things I've learned and things I wish I'd known, I'm certain I would have made the same decisions I've made as far as my relationship is concerned it would have been nice to be prepared with this info.

Sailors know how to partay.

That's pretty much the jist of it. Sailors drink and party like... sailors. They're loud, and obscene, and they're frequently naked for reasons unknown, but they are fun. And that makes command parties a good time. Recently I saw a bunch of drunken sailors sing and dance to "I'm on a boat", it was absolutely hysterical. This is a definite pro, Zack and friends are very entertaining.

Nick and Zack at the command Christmas Party

Pride.

This is a given. There's nothing like being seen with a man in uniform, sigh. Plus, they're so sexy.

Hooyah Navy!



BAH does not happen immediately.

BAH or basic allowance for housing, does not come right after you get married. BAH pays your rent, and that rocks. However, when we first got married we already basically lived together and were managing to pay rent with my unemployment. We did however have to eat a lot of ramen. When we got married we were sort of counting on our housing allowance to kick in... it didn't happen on the first check... then it didnt happen on the second.... or the third...

A lot of paperwork has to be done and by that point Zack had no idea what the problem was. It finally came down to making sure the paperwork was completed and re-completed that he had indeed checked out of the barracks.

To check out of the barracks we had to clean, like really really clean his room and have it checked by the dorm manager. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries, and it's kind of a pain in the ass.

When we did finally get our BAH the check was massivo because we got back BAH, which totally rocked. But the months of barely getting by were very frustrating. When most girls marry someone in the military it involves moving across the country or at the very least far enough away that they have to quit their jobs. A friend of ours has been married since September and moved his wife quit her job and moved here from Chicago and they haven't received BAH yet. 

BAH is not something I will frequently complain about. The fact that the military is making sure we don't have to worry about paying our rent is allowing me to stay unemployed temporarily and spend this time with my husband. It is a benefit that is pretty sweet. Will put this in the pros column, but the waiting is rough.  



Being a dependant is weird.

I am classified as Zack's dependant. I have a dependant ID, so that I can see doctors or get on base without much hassle. To get it however Zack basically has to agree that I am his wife, and he is responsible and in some ways in charge of me. For those of you that know me, you know how I feel about people being the boss of me. It's difficult for me to fathom that while I am on base, I am a reflection of my husband and things I do could get him in trouble. Which makes me very nervous. I don't even like to go to the commissary because I'm concerned I'll cart crash the commander's wife or something. There are a lot of rules.

Follow the rules, or go home.

While it's frustrating to have a few rules to follow as dependents, don't speed, try not to look like a homeless person, be classy, don't embarass yourself and your husband, etc., being directly accountable to the military as a Sailor/Soldier/Airmen/Marine is much much more difficult. Zack has lots of rules he has to follow that I definitely couldn't. I'll name a couple...

Let's start with 6 ring stand-by. This means that Zack has to answer his phone within 6 rings of someone calling him any time of the day or night and be sober and ready to go save the world. Granted this is something that happens once in a blue moon, when it happens it's a little bit of a hassle. I can never find my phone. If I was on 6 ring stand-by I would be that dorky guy at the mall with the great big plastic belt clip for my phone on the side of my pants. It takes me 2 rings to identify and understand my phone is ringing and an additional 5 rings to find a phone in my purse. Bad news. Trouble.

Here's the kicker, the one that I'd definitely just fail at, is the PRT test. You know what this means ladies? This means they will tell you if you weigh too much, not only tell you but kick you out if you fail to fix it. Holy goodness. I'm so upset just thinking about this I ate half a pint of ice cream. I'd die.



Nothing is ever for sure, until it's happening.

If you read blog at all when I first started you know that Zack going to Bahrain without me is definitely not what we thought was going to happen. At one point we even had orders to Virginia, or at least we thought we did. This one is hard, it's very frustrating to not know for sure, and to not be able to plan. It also allows you false hope that maybe something won't happen, ie deployments, dependant restricted duty etc.



Hurry up and wait.

Again, if you've read any of the blog posts from the beginning you know about hurry up and wait. It's constant. Get ready, fill out paperwork, be prepared, fill out more paperwork, wait.... it's like that annoying kid who starts the playground race that says READY... Seeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttt........... SEEEETTTTTTTT........SSSSSSSEEEEEEETTTTTTT..... SET......
Annoying.

Put on your big girl panties, you knew what you signed up for marrying him, it's just a year, suck it up, and other annoying things stupid people say.

These are all things civilians, and sometimes even other heartless mil wives, say to you that make you want to kick puppies. Never say these things to me if you expect to remain unharmed.
I don't wear panties, and I'll cut you.
I didn't sign up for anything, except marrying him and I'm pretty sure God and Zack have some sort of contract there because I never ever thought I'd end up with someone in the military. HE signed up for this, and I love him so I got dragged along. Shut it, or I will punch you in the throat.
It's just a year, suck it up. It's just a year?! Please tell me the last time you were ever away from your husband for a year? Oh, never? I thought so, or you probably wouldn't be so insensitive. And I can't suck it up because I actually like my husband. Excuse me. Dicks.

Avoid the drama.

Military wives get a bad name when it comes to drama. The stereotype is that they all sit at home and talk about each other, and that's not really true. Most of the military wives I have met are legitimately good people, moms, and wives. They are a sisterhood, and an extremely welcoming community. They don't all cheat. They don't all gossip... But some do. And those women should be avoided at all costs. They're horrendous.

And, finally.

No one can love you the way a man with a deployment or dependant restricted duty in the foreseeable future can.

That's all.

Well that was fun =)

Jingle Bells!

I am so excited for Christmas.

Today Zack and I exchanged gifts because I spent an obscene amount and was too excited to wait to give him his stuff. So, naturally hes been playing with his new ps3 (I'm such a good wife) all the live long day. sigh.
That's what I meant to do of course, give him a gift he would like more than me.

Anyway.

The weather is so unacceptable. Seeing as I am hereditarily a Lich, I am usually freezing. This weather is slowly killing me. I am a Molly-sicle. All of the time. Earlier today, it was 24 tiny degrees and pouring rain. Which of course, immediately froze. Making it dangerous and close to impossible to get from point A to point B in a motor vehicle. And to top it off a couple of inches of snow, to frost the ice cake. Which is annoying, and also scary. My bestie Chelsea was in an accident today that I won't even think about for more than a second, because it upsets me. I am so, so grateful that she and her precious babes are ok. I love them so very much.

Last night Babe and I went to Abraham Lincoln high school to watch my cousin Cody sing in a chior concert. Honestly, him and his beautiful (cougar) gf Bailey were the only ones worth listening to. They both rock. Their talents are being wasted in such a lack-luster program. They need to be at Lewis Central. It is imperative.
Anyway, after the first terrible song the freshman chior, which was virtual male-free, sang the terribly boring chior director announced that "this is not a rock concert, hooting and hollering for people is not appropriate for this type of concert". I was annoyed, but Babe took her comment as a challenge. He smiled. And waited.
Eventually-- something like 12 terrible songs later-- Cody and Bailey were FINALLY on stage. As the kiddies lined up on the bleachers Babe turned around with a devious look in his eye and said to my mother "I'm going to yell for Cody", and she laughed and said that was a gread idea. I was too far away to do anything and thought it wouldn't really matter anyways with all the clapping after they were done singing. Not what Babe had in mind. In dead silence, with robed high schoolers lining up on the bleachers, he quite randomly yelled "CODY SELF".
Cody's face turned bright red and my family laughed until we almost peed. It was glorious. The director with the stick up her ass was visibly unhappy. Whatev, lady. Maybe worry more about your soloists knowing the words to the songs theyre singing. ugh.
Cody and Bailey were amazing. Cody is extremely talented musically, and apparently Bailey is as well. Honestly I had no idea, but she earned about 1000 cool points once we heard her sing. They rock.

So that's that. I can't sleep.
I might blog again later, I've been considering adding the chapstick story (about Zack and I's first kiss) to this blog, or maybe the story about when he proposed to me. Because it's my blog and they're fun stories, but also because I want to remember them forever and ever.

Welp. I suppose I'll give trying to sleep a try.

So glad we had this talk, I'll leave you with this hilarious video of some people I love doing our favorite hip-hop number. We're fantastic dancers.

Waiting

I'm so jealous. Everyone is pregnant. Everyone has their babycenter baby tickers on facebook. I'm so freaking jealous your baby is a watermelon. I'm obscenely jealous your kumquat baby is giving you morning sickness. I can't wait to hear all about your birth's. But, I have to wait.
I have to wait because I can't imagine being more emotional while Zack is gone. I can assure everyone it is in their best interests that I am not a pregnant, sad, super bitch, counting down the days until I can be with my love again. Trust me. No one wants that.
I want to enjoy every single second of my pregnancy. Positive tests. Morning sickness. Giant sore boobs. Alien baby kicks. Drug free painful, amazing, birth. Every moment. If Zack is gone, every moment will be shadowed with me wishing he was there.

Alien Baby Kicks

If I loved him less this whole thing would be so much easier.
Ugh. Stupid amazing husband.
Also, the best way for me to tolerate not being able to bother Zack will be for me to stay crazy busy. So, I'm going to work out, and tan, and WORK. I know, pick your jaw up. I'm going to work, kids. It's been a while, but I'm going to find a job that I can work hundreds of hours. Or maybe 2 jobs. I want to work so much I can't think about anything else, or spend any money.
When he gets back, we will have been waiting for baby beautiful eyes for, like.... well, for my entire life. I was born to be a Mommy. I am good at a lot of things but I can tell you right now, my best work is yet to come. Since I will be working all the live long day, and Zack will be making tax-free Bahrain dollars, we will be so set when we finally are expecting. Which is totally responsible and, frankly, unlike me.
I know it's the right decision and I'm shocked to find that I am not upset about it. I guess there was a reason that we didn't get pregnant right away. So we could make this happen for our little Ninja Baby.
So, of course, now that Zack and I have decided 100% to "be responsible" and wait until he gets home from Bahrain to get pregnant, I am just absolutely certain he will accidentally knock me up.
Whatever. It's in God's hands.

Serendipity

ser·en·dip·i·ty
-noun

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated. 


In December of 2008, I made an incredible decision for myself. One that I should have made, long LONG before that. I left my ex. Well actually he left. Went missing in fact. But I decided that was it, and when he came back, like he always did, I would not be there for him to bother. I had been with him since a couple months before I graduated high school, and had only ever lived with him or my parents. It was time to be on my own, and I was so excited.
I found a new house. I moved Hank and I there.. OK, my brother and his friends moved Hank and I there, and I started my new life.

Molly & Hank

I was pretty distraught for a while. I wont lie. It was a pretty miserable time for me, but I was still relieved and excited to start a new chapter.
I spent about 3 months making a lot of decisions for myself. I'm going to be single for a year. I'm going to stay out all night. I'm going to kiss boys I barely know (I didn't say they were good decisions). I'm going to date as many guys as I want. I'm going to go out with every single guy that asks me out. I'm going to be single, no attachments, for one whole year. That was the most important. I didn't know me. I wanted to meet me, and I didn't want to deal with a relationship for 12 whole months.
During that time (those first few months by myself), while I sat at home making these decisions, I wasn't really acting on any of them. I went to work, I came home and played with Hank, watched TV, went out occasionally, but really I wasn't doing anything to keep those promises to yours truly. And then something amazing happened.
Enter: Haley Corbin. Haley moved in with me, and saved me. Haley was the next step on my road to happiness, and although I don't remember a lot about my year living with her, I remember enough to know I owe her.
Haley made me go out with her. Every single night. For about 4 weeks after she moved in. I was hungover and late for work for 4 weeks. I also put makeup on and did my hair, for 4 weeks. It was kind of a big deal. I have never been drunker with anyone else. Haley is amazing.

Hay returning our beer cans, making a 

small fortune from alcoholism.

After I started going out again all of the time, and having people over all the time, and lost my job, which sounds like a direct consequence of Haley moving in, but actually I was laid off, I started getting unemployment and while looking for a job I needed something else to do with my time so that I had some responsibility to something and didn't die of alcohol poisoning, and, I started volunteering at the Animal Shelter in Council Bluffs.
I loved every Saturday with SOLAS and loved going there during the week to walk dogs. I was constantly meeting new people. Good people. The kind of people I needed in my life. Not that the random boys (and crazy old guys) Traci and I were going out with every weekend weren't good people, they paid, and we liked them that. I just needed people who liked to volunteer and give back and play with dogs, in my life apparently. Because it made me so happy, and I hadn't been, like that, in a very long time.
So for the entire summer, and most of the fall, I went out with Haley during the week. I went out with boys and Traci, on the weekends. And most of my days, definitely my Saturday days, were spent with mutts and fantastic, fabulous older women, at the animal shelter or Petsmart.
Then one Saturday, at the beginning of fall, when I drove up to the shelter there were boys waiting to help volunteer. So, naturally, when I saw the volunteer coordinator Mary, I asked her about them and she told me they were military boys, from Offutt. Instantly I was interested. I texted Haley. She felt the same.
Enter: Douglas Siegmund. On Halloween I was volunteering with Doug and another "Navy Boy", as Haley and I referred to them, at Petsmart, and she brought Hank to see me in his Halloween costume.

Hay sent me this picture on her way to

Petsmart that day.

The next part is sort of... well, none of my business, but essentially Haley and Doug made plans for Doug and friends to come to our place for beer pong, the next night. And so he came. And he brought 2 loud, drunk, annoying, obnoxious, attractive, Sailors with him. Zack and Holly.
The next day when I talked to Doug, I told him that if he didn't bring those guys over again, that would be ok. Because they were irritating. And so, so, loud. :)
Doug was house sitting for one of the ladies from the shelter, and watching her many dogs. She was super cool to Doug, and told him it would be OK if we all came over to hang out there while he was house-sitting. So we did, and in those 3 days, I fell for one of those loud, drunk, annoying, obnoxious, attractive Sailors. A lot of you have heard the chapstick story about our first kiss, that happened house sitting at Monica's. The first time I heard Zack sing was at Monica's. Those two moments pretty much sealed my fate, although at the time I had no idea. I still was very sure I had no long term interests in Zackery.
The next several months the 5 of us, Zack, Holly, Doug, Haley and I, spent drinking and cuddling and playing at our house. Trying to stay warm in the craziest snow season I've ever seen. We spent all of our off time together. From November to March. It was probably the most fun I've had.
But, eventually, Haley was sucked in to the dark side, and pulled away from us by a total douche. And the 4 of us hung out, pretty much nonstop until Holly met a girl and was suddenly very busy all of the time. And then Doug went home and met a girl and was equally busy skyping and etc. And then there were 2.
Even though Zack and I had officially started dating in January, when he told my family at a superbowl party in February, he would marry me one day I was totally caught off guard and elated. I couldn't wait.

My favorite sailors at the SuperBowl party 

Zack told my family he would marry me at.

Then he proposed. But that's another story for another day kiddies.
I really need to start getting all of these details down, and what way better than this?
Anyway, that's why if you ask me or my Zack how we ended up together, that is why we will tell you serendipity.
Because almost exactly 11 months, to the date, I said I wanted to be single for a year, I met Zack. Just over 14 months after I made that promise to myself, I was crying in Spaghetti Works showing everyone my ring. Now I get to spend the rest of my life with that loud, loud, sailor.
Sometimes when you're looking for one thing, if you allow yourself to, you'll find a much better thing. Thank God I did =)

The day I became Mrs. Williams

ser·en·dip·i·ty
-noun

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated. 

My Mini-Human

I can NOT wait to have a baby. I'm trying. I am. But I am just so excited.
I am going to be what is commonly referred to as an attached parent. I will have whole, uncircumcised, kiddos who I will selectively vaccinate, wear full-time, breast feed until they don't want to anymore, they will be cloth diapered, and they will be brought into this world as peacefully, and as drug-free, as God will allow. These are decisions Zack and I have already made for our babies. We already know their names and we sometimes refer to them as if they are here. We are very excited.
They will be our babies. OURS. I don't care what you do with your baby. We have researched and researched every single decision that we have already made, and we know these decisions are right for our babies. I absolutely believe that they're right for all babies, but certainly know it's not my place to go to your facebook and throw advice you didn't ask for at you. I know enough common courtesy to know not to tell you you're wrong... to your face, anyway.
There is no (none) medical proof that says baby boy Williams should be circumcised. In fact, to the contrary. Like Craig Ferguson recently said "so, the options are wash it or cut it off?". Seems silly.
My baby will be born with ears, they will be an inconvenience to me at first, and to him later. They will get dirty, they could get infected, they will have to be washed every single time I bathe him... pain. in. the. ass. So, we're having them removed.
Call CPS I'm out of my mind!!
But if I said the same thing about a useful, nerve filled part of my future son a lot of the people in the United States would be perfectly fine. ugh.
Also, I'm a mammal, and I want to give my baby the very best start at life, so of course I will breastfeed. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding 'til 2. I will. That's it. I will. It is what my body was made to do. If I am in the extremely small percent of women with a legitimate reason that they can not, I will feed my babes someone elses breast milk. That's it. They're mammals and they're human. They deserve, their birth right is, to get human breast milk.
I'm getting off track, and I didn't want this post to be about how I hate standard procedure and how hospitals treat birth like an illness. So, it's not going to be.
What I DESPISE, is women who believe differently defending their decisions to Mom's who choose to raise their babies naturally and have all the medical and psychological proof in the world to back it up.
My best friend is without question, the best Mom, that I have ever seen. She's researched thoroughly every decision she has made for her baby and future baby and she does everything she can to make sure her kiddo's have the very best start at life. Unfailingly, however, every single time I stalk her facebook page her evil evil monster-in-law or some hillbilly she's friends with (sorry) is telling her how dumb it is that she still wants to breastfeed or not circumcise or cloth-diaper. It is astounding. The overwhelming majority of these people are lazy people who just go with the flow and do whatever their doctor says to do, that are defending their bad decisions because they feel guilt or some other similar emotion about making them. If you make a decision for your baby and you have medical proof or really, ANY TYPE of legitimate argument, I can respect that. But inconvenience or tradition is not a legitimate argument. Recently someone wrote on her page "I circumcised both my kids, I believe it's a personal choice on this one." what??? Sure, so is everything else! See:ear removal. dumb.
Or calling people selfish who choose not to get the MMR vaccine for their kids, because there is a considerable risk of HARM to the child. Or saying that standard procedure std vaccinations for NEWBORNS are there because "so many mom's lie" about their STD status. WTF?!
Silly.
My point here is, SHUT UP. That's great that you formula feed and gave your baby cereal at 2 weeks. Good for you. Your baby will probably be fine. Probably. If probably works for you, GREAT.
I have to hold my tongue every single time I go to her facebook.
Recently her own father-in-law told her that a decision she made for her baby (a legitimate decision) just didn't have a "good enough fucking reason".
I swear I will cut someone.
This is why, as a lactivist, intactivist, future cloth diapering, baby wearing, selective vaccing, breastfeeding, Mom I will not explain myself. The decisions I make will be discussed with my husband only. Because I could not be nice to the people my dear dear bestie is nice to. I will end up in jail.
That is all.

Change Is A Good Thing

Oh man, its been a while! Everything has just been so unclear I haven't been sure what to blog about.

We put in orders again! This time we chose 3 picks for San Diego, California, and 2 picks for Portsmouth, Virginia.

That's right, folks! Our big move adventure is now going to be, God willing, within the borders or this great country :) which is very exciting! This means I can drive Hank to our new home and he doesn't have to fly. This means we can haave a baby whenever we want, and we don't have to worry about our families flying 1000's of miles and spending as many dollars to come see baby beautiful eyes. This means we can bring 2 cars! It means we can do tons of things that were going to have to wait.

Unfortunately it's not all fantastic. Zack will be on mobile security if we do happen to get these orders (we could be rejected again). Mobile security means, apparently, he can be deployed for up to 6 months at a time wherever they need him. Which will be rough.

I'm nursing a post-zoo sunburn, kids. We also have 1000 things to do before were ready for this month of September. What I mean is.. I gotta go. Ill get back soon though faithful followers.

Sleeping Beauty

Today Zack and I have been together in wedded bliss for 3 months! Isn't that crazy? And In just 3 more months I will have known him a year haha. Don't judge us.

I am so bored. Today is privacy invasion/ home inspection day and Zack got home from breakfast with his friends at about 8:30 and then helped clean/ psychoticly cleaned everything he could find and he finally just went to sleep. So now I'm watching The Emperors New School and The Replacements while I wait for sleeping beauty to wake up. A reasonable substitute for my husband waking up to play with me would be my snapfish pictures getting here. Tracking says they'll be delivered today!

I won't lie, I'm still super bummed about not getting orders. It suuuper sucks. But it is what it is and everything will work out. Today somebody said on facebook "everything good comes at a walk, everything bad comes like a locomotive." Seeing as all of this seems to be moving at a snail's pace (I'm 100 and just said, at a snail's pace... what I meant was slower than molasses on a cold day...) I hope that saying is true and this means good things.

Sarah Palin is the dumbest human being on the planet. If I saw her I would punch her right in the pie-hole. Her and Elisabeth Hasselbeck. What a Jack-ass that woman is... but I digress. Sorry, the Chris Matthews show came on.

Anyway, I am very excited for our upcoming vacations and getting to go see our new nephew baby Max. Today I went to a dog boarding place to check it out for Mr. Hank and I <3d it. He will love it almost as much as if he could come with.

What a weird day.

By the way! Please pray for Zack's Grandma Dee who is back in the hospital with high potassium counts and kidney issues. We love her so much and want her to get better!

That's all, for now.

Bummer.

I am far too bummed to blog right now. No orders. We were rejected.

I don't know where we go from here or what the plan is now. I'll update everyone when I know. For right now though I'm realizing and remembering that I am very lucky to have my husband and the life that I have and waiting a minute to find out the next step will be ok. It blows. But, it will be ok. Things could be worse. We are lucky and spoiled and blessed.

Life is good.



UPDATE:
Here's what my amazing Husband has to say on the matter, with a little more explanation.
I'm quoting facebook postings--

--Zackery Williams: I found out on nko... Sicily was n for no and Japan and Guam were t for try again. No Bahrain. Fuck it... I don't care anymore. All I care about is my loving wifey and my beautiful doggy Hank. It is what it is.

And on my wall he wrote
--Zackery Williams: Molly it practically ruined my day. But knowing that you will still be home makes me not care about where we go. Basset Hound.


Tell me he isn't the best husband??

I'm a lucky girl.

Ninja Baby

"If you have a baby in Japan you should just leave it there. A baby on a 25 hour plane ride would suck. Plus, if you leave it in Japan it has a much better chance of becoming a ninja."-Daniel Lich

I'm gonna be a flippin awesome Mom. I was born to do it. I would say I can't wait, but I can. Am I anxiously awaiting November 24th 2011, when I am promised as much unprotected sex as it takes to get our little baby beautiful eyes? I absolutely am. But in the mean time I will be enjoying several more months of protected sex, partying and sleeping in with my amazing husband. It's no secret that, while Zack and I know we are meant to be with each other, we haven't known one another existed for a super long time and I'm enjoying our time together just us.

I have little to no concerns about most of the process. If all goes to plan our little ninja baby will be born in Guam, Sicily, or Japan and travel home with us to the U.S. when he or she is 9 to 16 months old. The plane ride will undoubtedly suck, but its just one day of our lives, so we will deal.

We already have possible names. We already have a birth plan, for goodness sakes. I'm a planner.

No amount of planning will eliminate the guilt I feel about getting prego and having a baby overseas however. It's obscene. I am going to want my mommy. I am going to want my Dad to meet Baby Williams immediately. I will probably be able to talk them in to an overseas adventure to meet their first Grandbaby. Especially since Zack and I expect baby beautiful eyes to be nothing short of the most amazing baby in history. But my grandparents, the rest of my family, and my friends will probably have to wait to meet our love child.

Which blows.

Also, what about Zack's family? I hope they come see us overseas as well. I miss them. My in-laws are awesome.

I'm going to have to teach everyone to use skype. A lot. And the facebooker that I am its not like any of my nearly 600 friends will miss much.

I can't just put my life on hold and wait until I'm almost 28. Not happening.

Still, this is the only part of having a baby I am not confident about.

Sigh.

Well, guess what else is on my mind tonight girls and boys... moving. Tomorrow morning will be the last morning that I won't know... how crazy is that??

I can't wait to have my brain back.