Saturday, June 11, 2011

One Month Downski

I can't believe it's been a month.... since I shaved my legs.

Just kidding.

I've shaved my legs at least once in there somewhere.

A month of barely sleeping. A month of never being more than 2 feet away from my phone. A month of missing my husband with my whole heart.

Let me tell you  something super sappy i've learned.

I've learned that I am absolutely crazy about my husband. I love him more than I even knew before he left, and even then people were annoyed by how much we loved each other.
Like that song "I thought I loved you then", I know that's totally cheesy, but seriously. It is so true.

The day I married Zack I remember thinking "This is the best day. My heart is so full of love for this man. I have never felt anything like this before. This is it. This love is what everyone looks for." Then on our one month anniversary I thought, "This is the love everyone looks for, I can't believe how much more I love him than I did just a month ago. My heart is so full. I am so happy." Then on our one year anniversary, just a little over a month ago, fearing this deployment could damage our relationship, I made a mental note "Molly, remember how much you love your husband at this moment. Your heart is so full. You are so blissfully happy. You are so lucky. This love, is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Never let your love for him be any less than it is at this very moment. He loves you so much. You are so lucky.". Little did I know...

Then here we are today. One month since he left. One year, one month, and 3 days since we got married. I am so overwhelmed with how much I feel for Zack. I can't believe how speaking to him changes my mood and my day. I can't believe the way my body physically aches to be close to him. It's amazing to me that even with everything going on and all the things that suck about this I can still step back, even if just for a moment, and realize how lucky I am to have a love like ours.

I know, sappy Sally. But, seriously, I can't get over it. I'm so in love with my husband.

I never thought I would be one of those women who is this proud of their husband. I am one of those people who has I Love My Sailor magnets on their car. I search the internet for the most perfect custom "Proud Navy Wife" decal for my brand new car. I want to shake the hands of random service members, they feel like brothers of my husband. I want to hug their wives, and tell them how strong and amazing they are.

All because I am so over-the-top in love with, and proud of, my husband.
I will work really hard to remember how this feels. How it feels right now to be sitting in our house by myself while he sleeps thousands of miles away. I'll remember and work hard to never take a moment with him for granted. I can't wait to appreciate his dirty socks everywhere.

Of course I've learned a lot since he left about us, and communicating, and our relationship. What's important to tell him and what isn't. But we're getting the hang of it. Even though it is totally suckful, we're going to get through this.

We are lucky and blessed.

I can't wait to be that close to him again =]

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